A NSF watch a movie IP man over the weekend. When he book in for his ACCT (ADVANCE CLOSE COMBAT TRAINING), he recall a scene where IP man had to fight with some martial art expert n every expert he won will get him a pkt of rice. The NSF went to his officer saying that he want to challenge the ACCT instructor. For every instructor he defeat, he’ll get a day off. The office say OK. After the 1st match with the instructor, he got 20 off days cos he was sent to hospital with a fractured arm with 20 days MC.

Contributed by Ong Hak Tiong (SXXXX889H)

3 recruits were collecting underwear from a sergeant (SGT) @ army supply base. SGT: Hei recruit 1! How many tey kor? Recruit 1(thinks): 7 Sasen(SGT)! SGT(Puzzled): Why? Recruit 1: Mon to Sun, 1 Day 1! SGT: Eh recruit 2! How many? Recruit 2(w/o hesitation): 6 sargen! SGT(curious): Why? Recruit 2: Mon,Tue,Wed,Thu,Sat&Sun.Friday I wear sarong! SGT: How many underwears ah recruit 2? Recruit 3(confidently): 12 sarjen !!!! SGT(shocked): Why? Recruit 3:Jan to Dec, 1 mth 1!

Contributed by Ong Yew Wee (SXXXX438B)

Generals from US, UK & S'pore gathered with their own men on a ship in a shark-infested sea. The US General wanted to show off, asked his man to swim 10 rounds around the ship & finished w/o being harmed. he said to the rest "see! this is what i call courage!" the UK General asked for 20 rounds & came up safely. He said "See! This is what I call courage!" The SG General asked for 30 rounds & the man hurled vulgar insults at him & walked away. He said "See! This is what I call courage!"

Contributed by Ho Kai Siang, Eilton (SXXXX380D)

At an exhibition of military painting, a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at work'." "Yes, but something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren’t working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"

Contributed by Cindy Chua (SXXXX028G)

Little boy boy asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with moustache but I never saw any pictures of angels with moustache." "Oh, that's because most men who go to heaven get there by a close shave."

Contributed by Marissa Sum (SXXXX735A)

The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers. "I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle," he explained. "Now begin!" After a few minutes, one of the men stopped. "Why did you stop ah seng!?" Demanded the officer. "If you please, sir," said ah seng, "I'm freewheeling for a while."

Contributed by William Heng Choon Kai (SXXXX123H)

The soldier doing reservist in Taiwan was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking up their engagement and asking for her photographe back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you? Please keep your photo and return the others."

Contributed by Lai Wei Leong (SXXXX418A)

Three marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first marine said "Those are deer tracks." The second marine said "No, those are tiger tracks." The third marine said "You're both wrong, those are lion tracks." The marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Contributed by Chan Wai Fong (SXXXX147J)

A young naval student was bein put thru the paces by an old sea captain. "What wld u do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" "Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied. "What wld u do if another storm sprang up aft?" "Throw out another anchor sir!." "& if another terrific storm sprang up forward?" asked the captain. "Throw out another anchor, sir." "Hold on," said the captain. "Where r u gettin all those anchors from?" "From the same place u r gettin your storms, sir!"

Contributed by Ong Hoong Chiang (SXXXX099H)

Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the army. "My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier. "I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other. "You could if you could lie as I do."

Contributed by Toh Weiling (SXXXX663E)