Sunday, September 09, 2007
About Breaking Ups
Every action carries a consequence. And it is not by default that the person bearing it is the creator of the issue. Many times, it can spill over to this person’s family and friends, even colleagues. Don’t be surprised that anyone who used to be related can be dragged into the spiral, without knowing it and being prepared for.
I’m sure you have come across news of celebrities who got themselves into some kind of trouble or created a very news-worthy issue. Not long after, the paparazzi will start writing about their ex-partners in a bid to increase the heat so as to profit from the hike in readership, and these exes will soon be hunted down to get quotes and comments on the news.
So unknowingly, the exes got themselves into the limelight, most of them unwilling to comment anything for fear of having a piece of the negative impact. That’s the way celebrities handle such cases. How about for people like you and me?
When you have broken up with your partner, how do you handle the change in the relationship? What if your ex-partner ran into some kind of trouble years later?
Why am I saying this? Because I’ve realized that when you thought that everything is over, don’t be too shocked that the past may play some catching up, usually in the not so pleasant way. So, how you break up may then be an under-estimated event.
Too many times people only focus and spent all their energy in the beginning of a relationship. The butterflies in your tummy, going all the way to impress the other party, that kind of “have yet not totally sure yet” feeling about each other etc.
All care is being put into to ensure that your chances of success won’t be sabotaged.
And when it comes to the breaking up, well, I’m not even sure if anyone will use 10% of that much care and effort into it.
After all, it must be due to some grave mis-matches and/or mistakes that are too serious to be reconciled which leads to the ultimate goodbye. So why bother to think about what is the best way to end it without causing grievous hurt to each other. At least, even if the friendship has to be terminated as well, both parties walk away feeling this is the best solution and feeling peaceful.
If you are so careful not to step on the wrong mine in case it explodes in the beginning of a relationship, shouldn’t you be more careful at the end? Or do you think that ending it means ending it, and it’ll no longer be your responsibility anymore whether the other party is happy or not?
Well, my advice is, you never know when you will meet again.
How about broadening the idea of a relationship? You might have experienced some fall outs with your team mates in school while doing projects, or maybe your camp mate as you are serving your NS.
When the relationship has turned too sour to amend, and the best way is to split and go separate ways, think of the times when your partner has been a great help to you and part based on that gratitude.
I’m sure the other party will appreciate your good intentions and it will be an amicable split!
So my friend, can you make a goodbye?