Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Just A Little Thought, But . . .

I’m not sure if the other users feel the same way, but it has certainly scored huge brownie points with me. Gauging from my relatively high standards (er-hem, I think so) when it comes to customer service, I suppose this little thoughtful gesture from M1 is, indeed, sweet!

Doing some research on the ground as I began my search, few weeks ago, for a mobile phone (again!), I was having two (or three?) minds on the provider to sign up with. Starhub has its carrot dangling with their hub discounts, effectively pushing Singtel out of the ballgame temporarily. Unless I’m getting the iPhone.

Then came M1 with its Multi-Line saver plans. Therefore I began punching the calculator furiously, and making notes on how much I could potentially save if I were to migrate my plan and my mum’s over to M1. Thousands of questions rose in my head, and I made close to half a dozen calls to their customer service to get all the issues sorted.

That was when I discovered this little thoughtful gesture from M1 that was, indeed, sweet!

As with all the Interactive-Voice Recognition (IVRs) – this is what all these systems are officially called - in Singapore, I was half expecting the voice to run me through a whole list of options before they finally, reluctantly, give me the number to choose to speak to a human being.

But, surprise, surprise! If you were a M1 customer, all you had to do was punch in your mobile number, and the next option was, guess what? The number to choose to speak to their customer service was announced crisp and clear, before they proceed to the other options. And if you use your M1 mobile to call them, you can save the step of keying in your mobile number. Sweet! I was taken aback!

This truly, genuinely, amazingly saves me (and I believe, everyone who calls them) so much time, and I really, really, really appreciate it! This is what I call customer service – by analysing customers’ needs and putting it first.

In contrast, the other companies are only thinking of automating the system as much as possible to raise efficiency and productivity – their efficiency and productivity – at the expense of our time and money.

By thinking about what customers (and potential ones) need and like, and putting our interests before them, M1 is actually creating a genuine goodwill that will only put them in very good light against the other providers. It is a win-win situation. I’m not sure if it actually costs them more, if people take advantage of that option and speak to the customer service officer for issues that could be resolved using the automated system, but even if it does, I believe it still pays off for customer satisfaction.

Having run a dating agency where it was so much about client relations, excellent customer service was one of our company’s motto, and we stuck to it like Winnie the Pooh would to honey. We prided ourselves in having happy and satisfied members. Even when we had to spend a considerable length of time to listen to them, we did it nevertheless. I still remember talking to someone on the phone for more than an hour and eventually she hung up, happy.

Many agencies would frown at such a gesture, because we were effectively cutting our efficiency with such long phone calls. We could have made at least a dozen calls to other members and arranging the same number of dates.

But to us, members came first.

As with M1. That little thought went so far, and did so much for me.

It’s really just a little thought that can count so much. 

I believe if you did the same thing to your partner, your mum, dad, sister, brother, best friend, or even your co-worker, I’m sure it would not only bring a smile to their face, it might just be the best thing that happened to them that day!

And I’m sure they’ll remember it for a long, long time to come.

P.S I was equally thrilled to learn that M1 has won the contract to offer iPhone later this year. Hahaha! I couldn’t stop myself from laughing in glee… Hmm…

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Army Husband’s Guide 4 – Kids Connection

So, you’ve been in and out of your home very frequently, and to your children, you’re slowly turning into just a face that appears when it appears. Like the visiting uncle, or neighbour.

But you know the difference. You are not the visiting uncle. You are their father, and you want to and have to be involved in their lives. Question is, in what way?

Are you going to be the disciplinarian? Or are you going to be your kids’ best friend?

It’s challenging to be both simultaneously, but you realise that’s the best possible solution. After being away for some time, it really pains you to be home (finally!) and start brandishing the cane in front of your misbehaved children. Yet, you cannot sit there and allow them to exploit your kindness as this is going to add to your wife’s burden when you’re away again and she becomes the disciplinary mistress.

There is no best way to do this. You have to discuss with your wife and agree on the rules that have been set for the children and to follow them regardless of a returning father’s love. However, that doesn’t preclude you from getting down to your knees and really be their friend. Here’s how you can do this:

1. Reading to them

Read a story book to your infants. Record your story telling in a DVD so that whenever your kids miss you when you aren’t around, your wife can play the DVD and get them instantly connected to their daddy through the story.

Remember to make the story more animated, and every now and then, raise your head and give them good eye contact.

Since you’ll probably know how long you’ll be gone in the next deployment, you can record the stories before hand. One new story every week should be good enough to last them until you’re back.

2.  Make it personal!

Have some me-time with your children, especially if they’re in their pre-teens or teenage years. They are at a sensitive stage where they may see themselves as adults and therefore, not willing to see you as the figure of authority.

If you have more than one kid, have a meal or chat with them separately. Bring them for a nice dinner, or an activity they enjoy doing. Have a heart-to-heart chat. Let them know what you have been doing during your absence, and find out more about their lives too. Listen with an open-mind. Do not be quick to infuse your own values and perspectives into theirs and start lecturing them on what should be the correct thing to do. Remember, you want to connect with them, and to do that, you have to be at their level and see things from their eyes. 

Be a teenager in your heart, and a father in your head.

If you realise your adolescent is not opening up to you as openly and freely as you hope, be patient. After all, they have their own lives and you’d rather respect their need for privacy than to pry and insist they spill the beans on what they have been up to with their friends when daddy wasn’t home.

3. Family time

Go out and/or do things together as a family. It’s important for your children to know that the family is whole despite you being absent so often. And going out or doing things as a family is the best way for them to feel the bonding and love shared as a unit.

You can watch a favourite movie at home together, eating popcorns and discussing about the characters or just having a good laugh.

Have dinner as a family is also a good way to catch up on each member’s day. The family that eats together stays together, or so they say!

4. Helping out

Your children may have been assigned certain chores to help out around the house when you aren’t around. When you’re back, how do they feel about you doing some of these chores? Are they excited that you’re sharing the tasks with them? Or do they feel like you’re treading on their territory?

Depending on how your children react to you helping out around the house, you can either let them continue as the way it has been without you or you can chip in your bit of strength and labour away with them as part of your bonding exercise.

The key here is to be aware of what changes has taken place in your absence and blend yourself in as smooth as you can. But, there can never be a transition without any hiccups, so, be patient with yourself and your family.

This wraps up the series The Army Husband’s Guide for you, our soldier husband and daddy. 

It’s never easy to juggle the nation’s duties and your family’s duties on your shoulders at the same time. It certainly isn’t something that comes as-is, therefore continuous and open communication and efforts have to be constant between you and your wife. When there’s a will, there’s a way! 

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Where Have All The Lanterns Gone?

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival my dear friends!

I was having breakfast this morning when it suddenly dawned on me that I haven’t been seeing any shops selling lanterns. Only mooncakes were displayed abundantly everywhere. So, where have all the lanterns gone?

I miss those lanterns of yore sorely. Coming in various designs - chicken, rabbit, dog - these lanterns made of colourful translucent papers were hanging proudly in the shops, blatantly wooing children like myself to pester our parents for some money to buy them home.

Then, we would wait impatiently for the day to arrive, I mean night, so that all the children would rush out from their homes and show off their lanterns, brightly lit with candles! Yes, it was after some time that battery operated lanterns came into the market. However, those lanterns did not charm us one bit. Rather, the good ole’ fashion of candle-lit ones made our adrenaline rush to the fore.

Holding these lanterns in our hands, we were all reminded - for the 1001 time by our parents and grandparents - to watch out for the fire. Hence, everyone was extremely careful not to swing the lanterns too much and not to run. Now come to think of it, what is so fun and exciting about merely walking around holding a potential fire hazard, albeit beautiful, cute and interesting? It just was fun.

The candle flames made our faces blush and we all look pretty and handsome under the flattering light. The smiles on our faces further lit us up in glowing radiance. The jolly atmosphere enveloped everyone under the beautiful round moon dancing happily in the sky.

Mooncakes were shared among neighbours and everyone chatted and laughed until the night was no longer young. Then, very reluctantly, we blew off our candles and retired our lanterns for the year. And once again, we began to wait for next year to come when we could bring these animals out again into the glory.

Hmm ... those were the days of how we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival when I was a child. It was a day where people build relationships and strengthened their bonds with each other.

How do you celebrate yours? 

Friday, October 02, 2009

The Army Husband’s Guide 3 - Reconnecting

I kickstarted this series with the post about the fundamental C – Communication. I mentioned that your wife is most probably playing in her mind loving and cosy images of you returning home from a deployment.

The truth is, more often than not, you may not be in the mood for such nice and lovely reunion. You might need to take a short break to be alone, and use this time to come to terms with life back home.

This reconnection can be tricky. On one hand, it seems a no-brainer to re-integrate yourself back into the family since you’re a part of it anyway.

On the other hand, there could be a few challenges lurking around the corners waiting for you to tackle them wisely. Yes, the key word here is wisely.

Things are happening every day, every moment even when you’re not around. To get up to speed on the past events that have taken place is something you need to do as soon as possible without feeling overwhelmed.

Your child may be stringing words into sentences that you find hard to construe when just before you left, he is only making some incomprehensible noises.

Your cousin has just given birth and everyone is gushing about this newborn in the whole family, while you can’t even attach a face to the baby’s name.

Your wife has a promotion and the family celebrated it with her by having a scrumptious meal without you around.

New rules have been set in the house so that the toddler wouldn’t burn the house down due to your negligence.

There has been some bad news too. Someone in the family has been retrenched; fallen ill, or just recently had a bad break-up.

With all these events happening, big or small, certainly the atmosphere and dynamics in the family has changed. How are you going to adapt to all these in short notice and settle in comfortably?

How has your role in the family changed now that you’re frequently absent? You may find that decisions have to be made in your absence, and chances are even when you’re back, this “head of the family” title may not be so naturally reinstated in a moment’s notice.

Be patient, and at the same time, do your best to help around the house as much as you can. Be as involved in the lives of each family member as you can. Let them know that despite you not being with them, your heart has always been caring for them.

Take a stroll with your wife. It is a great time to just chat about anything under the sky and listen to each other intently. Listen to your wife when she tells you what has been going on in her life while you are not around. This will make her feel that she’s still special in your heart.

Are you able to journal during your deployment? Maybe it’ll be good to spend some time at the end of the day to write down your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. What have you seen, what have you done and what impact or difference have you made to some other people’s lives? Write a letter to your wife and your kids if possible and pass the whole bunch to them when you’re back. When they read them, they’ll be able to feel how you felt when you were carrying out your duties. In a way, these letters and your journal connect them with you. They serve as a great ice-breaker too, don’t you agree?

If writing is tough for you, how about doing a voice recording? MP3 players double up as voice recorders nowadays and they’re very portable. Or maybe taking photos will do the trick too!

You may feel awkward to be intimate with your wife after such a long absence. Well, be prepared to feel awkward (tell yourself it’s ok!), at the same time pull on your old charm and rekindle that passion again!

If things really turn too awry in your relationship and it’s getting too tough to handle, like if you’re having too many heated arguments, excessive anger or any unresolved emotional burden you inherited from your last deployment, be open to look for a marriage counsellor.

The main point is, reconnecting with your spouse doesn’t just come naturally just because you’re both married to each other. It needs some effort on both parties. Though it may be challenging at times, but the rewards of a healthy, loving and lasting marriage is definitely worth much more than what you’ve put in.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

The Army Husband’s Guide 2 – Missing You

Your wife misses you when you’re not around. Take this to be the default situation.

So, what can she do when she’s missing you?

She can mop around the house feeling miserable about herself, and questioning again for the thousandth time why did she marry a soldier?

Or, she can stroll around the house feeling your presence at every nook and cranny, thereby filling up her love tank even as you aren’t physically there.

I’ll bet you want her to feel loved, rather than frustrated. The challenge lies in – how can you achieve this when you’re not around most of the time?

Maybe the following tips might help you to tackle this easier.

1. Leave your footprints everywhere. You can do this by sticking post-it notes everywhere in the house. In the kitchen. On the mirror. In her wallet. Inside the pocket of her jacket. In the pantry. Behind the TV. On the toilet bowl. On her toothbrush. In the microwave oven.

2. Start a project with her. It can be a jigsaw puzzle, or collecting growing a potted plant. Something for her to continue working on when you’re on deployment. As it is a project that both of you started together, it’s a good source of energy for her when she’s missing you. It’s as if you’re there with her doing it, even though you’re not. 

3. Take lots of photographs together. Nothing is more comforting than to be able to see our loved one’s face when we miss them sorely.

4. Send her flowers. You can ask someone to do it for you on your behalf periodically when you’re not around. If it’s possible, you can pre-write some cards and pass them to your friend to attach it to the flowers.

5. Set up an anchor. Find something that your wife likes and give more meaning to it. It can be a plush toy you gave her on your wedding anniversary. It can be the couch in which both of you spend time snuggling on while watching DVD at home. It can be a mug with a personalised message written by you to her. Just get an item and create wonderful memories around it. So that when your wife misses you too much, all she needs is to be near or hold this item close to her heart and release this flood of love and warmth into her.

These five methods may sound easy, but when you and your wife have been married for more than a decade, when you’re already so bogged down with your duties, you don’t see the need to do such things anymore. You’ve lost the motivation, unlike newly-wed couples.

After all, as your wife, she has to be understanding of your job, be supportive and not make any requests that will eat into your resting time.

That is true. At the same time, there is no marriage in this world that doesn’t require any work on either party to maintain it. Ask your wife if she’d be happy to receive a love gesture from you. I’ll bet her answer is yes, regardless if she’s a fifty year old mother of three, or a twenty-five year old young bride of yours.

And if making a small effort goes a big way into keeping your marriage loving and healthy, why not? 

A Singaporean Trait?

Who would have guessed it? It wasn’t the day of Toto with its seductive $10 million prize. Neither was it a day of 4D. Then, why would the queue be so long?

The origin of the human chain revealed the answer. They were all in the line to exchange their EZ-link card. Yesterday was supposed to be the last day for the free exchange. But, as I had predicted pretty well, the deadline was extended by one more week.

Is one week enough? Well, I believe that there would still be that many people who would only do it at the eleventh hour come next Wednesday.

It seems like doing things at the last minute is no longer something common among youngsters, for I see uncles and aunties forming part of the body of this snaking queue.

Well, to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were there on behalf of their forgetful children.

Walking past this long queue suddenly gave me a sense of satisfaction that I had, very early on, finished this task, all thanks to my dad for changing it for me and my mum for nagging me to do it early.

My mum and I walked past the queue in the MRT station and she commented with a smirk: “Wait till last minute then change. Do it early and there’s no queue!” I cannot agree more. At the same time, my empathy goes to all those “last-minuters” because I’m so one of them, actually.

Isn’t it kind of reassuring to know that a big part of the nation is with me in this aspect? Procrastinating doing something that irks us, something that is not that important yet is ever so necessary.

My mum, of course, is singing a completely different tune than me and the thousands of those who are in the queue in the various MRT stations sprawled all over Singapore.

You see, my mum is someone who will always be earlier. If we’re supposed to leave home for an appointment at ten, she’ll be ready by nine-thirty. If the deadline for a project is one month, she’ll complete it within a week, if it so allows.

I’m quite the opposite. Well I love to finish something early, however I realise that I thrive on the adrenaline rush that I get at the eleventh hour – when I know that the deadline is no longer creeping up slowly but chasing after me like fire caught in my pants.

Our different character proves to be more conflict than harmony. So when she tells me she’s ready to go thirty minutes before the appointed time, I gently remind her that there’s still half an hour more to go. She’ll usually mumble a “better to be early than late” and I’ll reply with a “I don’t want to stand there and waste my time waiting for thirty minutes”.

But, amid these differences, life still continues to go on for us. In as much harmonic as we can possibly achieve.

A last bit of advice. Go and exchange your EZ-link card as soon as you can, for if you miss this extra week, then you really have no more excuse to give other than admit the fact that you’re simply too not bothered to do it.

Or you can just admit it: “I’m lazy.”