Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Child’s Observation

As we grow up, we gain some, we lose some.

Ideally, we should gain more than we lose. But it depends on what we gain and what we lose.

Some things that are lost are actually gains. For example, if we shed those baby fat, we look better and we’re fitter.

But if we lose the sense of observation we had as a knowledge-hungry, eager-to-learn child, then it really is a regret that we have to live with for as long as we don’t find it back.

I got that jolt back to reality a few days ago. A 7-year-old little girl had completely beaten me when she imitated an adult in one of this person’s signature moves – something that had gone past me totally unnoticeable.

It was a very small gesture, yet this little girl had not only noticed it, but she actually remembered it and re-enacted the action as if she was the original creator.

I was very much bemused – how could I not? But, that minute of laughter was shadowed by the realisation that I had probably lost that sense of observation. Or, had I lost that sense of alert to pick up signs that are unusual?

Have I become inept at learning already?

This notion scares me to the core. I cannot become inept at learning, because that will be equivalent to sapping the life away from me. Once a person stops learning, they stop growing.

Regaining the sense of awareness is the first step to finding back that sense of keen observation and enthusiastic attitude towards learning and growing when I had growing up.

At times, all it takes is to become a child again. How hard can it be?

It can, when pride comes in the way. Just look at all the adults around us. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

So, He Thinks He Is Funny?

After punching in my message, I tapped my fingers impatiently on the table, waiting for the reply.

Soon I heard the familiar tweet from the iPhone. 

“Well E (my friend’s name) is in coma after climbing Mount Everest so Spiderman is using his phone for the time being.”

“Ok. So can Spiderman tell me that young man’s age?” I replied.

“Old enough to legally marry you. So do you want this?”

“I’m married thank u. Can u pls give me the golden no cos I’m rushing the story now and waiting for this? Tks.”

“Well there is something called polygamy.”

It dawned on me that I was dealing with someone who obviously thought that he was very funny.

I called the number that I SMSed to and was curtly rejected on the second ring.

I didn’t reply the SMS anymore. After a while, he called. He had the nerve to return the rejected call, yes. 

To do what?

To reaffirm that he isn’t E but Spiderman!

This could have been a usual case of sending a text message to a wrong number, where the recipient would politely reply saying “I think you’ve sent to the wrong person” and the sender would follow up with a sincere apology.

Instead, Spiderman decided to send a barrage of nonsensical messages. Even when he knew that I was waiting for a critical piece of information for work, he stubbornly refused to admit his identity and continued I supposed what he thought was flirting.

So, was he flirting? Yes if the recipient, in this case, yours truly, had found it engaging and entertaining. Alas, my reality was far from his fantasy.

I was annoyed, and rightly so. Firstly, I was not in the mood to flirt, having an article to rush. Secondly, he wasn’t funny, really. Thirdly, he could have shown a bit of sensitivity from the tone of my messages that I was enquiring about work and not play. Lastly, he didn’t sound at all apologetic that he had wasted at least 10 minutes of my precious time (and money) on those unhelpful SMSes and at the end, he still had the cheek to reaffirm he was Superman and yes, he wasn’t the intended person.

I’m really glad that he is probably one of the few Singapore men who are clueless about flirting and still are thick-skinned enough to continue stepping on the toes of the opposite gender. 

Where is my shining knight in armour?  

Give Me That Handsome Suit!

Ditch those bulges and fatty underarms. So long as you’re willing to forsake your identity, you can become the most desirable dude in this planet. All you need to do is step into a handsome suit and viola! you become more delicious than Brad Pitt and George Clooney combined.

Yearning for some real relaxation, I did the unusual and succumbed to the tempting ‘brainless, pure entertainment’ movie genre when I sauntered happily to watch the Japanese film Handsome Suit.

I had expected at most an hour-and-a-half of brainless comedy, but I was sorely disappointed. Running for 115 minutes, the film has its laughing moments. But it is far from a brainless and purely entertaining production. It actually seeks to delve deeper into the human mind and find out what is more important – looks, or character.

Takuro (Muga Tsukaji) is the ugly protagonist who, after donning a specially made handsome suit, morphs into a striking Annin Hikariyama (Shosuke Tanihara) – the famous model.

Takuro falls in love at first sight with the soft-spoken and beautiful Hiroko (Keiko Kitagawa), who also has a hidden dual identity as the cute-cute plumpish Motoe (Miyuki Oshima) with a heart of gold and charm that matches perfectly with her generous laughter and warm smile she carries wherever she goes.

After having a taste of a king-like treatment by others when he’s the gorgeous-looking Annin, Takuro finds himself wavering in his stance to continue to be who he is – the ugly yet kind-hearted chef who only wants to serve heart-warming dishes the way his mother had cooked it.

Hence the question of morality kicks in – do we sacrifice the real character that makes who we are special for the perfect superficial appearance that makes others fall in love with how we look?

I remember when I was running my dating agency, we come across this question many times too. While we advocate presenting a good and attractive image to others, especially on the first few meetings with someone new, we also stress on the importance of personality and character matching.

There was even a female member who went all the way to “uglify” herself so that the guy whom she was meeting would get to know her and not be misled by how pretty she looked.

Well, I wouldn’t encourage such behaviour, but I always tell singles going on dates to “just be themselves”. The most tiring thing a person can do is to put on a mask and be someone whom they’re not, and never will be. 

I guess the debate on brains or brawns will not end, handsome suit or not. Even before the birth of cosmetics, women are already using natural ingredients to make them look more appealing in their quest for a good husband.

That only goes to show that while character prevails, good looks still have its advantages. 

Well, at least the handsome suit is really, by any measure, cute and adorable! Before it assumes the human form, that is. 

Obstacles – What Do They Mean?

I’ve been in a bit of confusion lately, since the start of the year. Recurring thoughts that disturbed me in the middle of one night made me realise the intensity of the issue. I had brushed them aside – labelling them as distractions – or engaged myself in loads of positive self-talk to get myself out of the nagging situation.

Until that night when the same old thoughts were racing in my head and threatening to give me another sleepless night, then I realised that was the tip of the iceberg. 

Making a big time decision is never easy, especially when it involves major changes and the chosen road ahead looks to be long and full of unknowns. The uncertainty can be crippling yet at the same time exciting.

Then after many rounds of deliberation, discussing with family and friends and getting all the advices you need (or don’t need), you make up your mind.

But it is usually as this point when you thought you have made up your mind, or when you’re about to say “OK, this is it. This is what I’m going to do” that one obstacle will appear. It may come in the form of a temptation for you to stay where you are or continuing what you’re doing; or it may appear as a bigger shroud of uncertainty and fear that wraps you up in anxiety and makes you want to rethink your decision.

When this happens, does it mean that you’re not going forward with your decision or does it mean that it’s only a test to see how much of the new thing in life you wanted and to what extent would you go for it?

Let me give you an example. A person in a sales job may be contemplating to resign for some time and follow his passion to be a social worker. Yet each time he is resolved to throw in the letter, a new tender would come up and he would tell himself “Ok, let me deal with this first”. Maybe he has been handling small deals all along, and when he’s about to tell his boss “I quit”, there comes along a potential deal that is worth few times more than all the deals he had done for the past 6 months. 

He’s thrown into a dilemma. Does he stay on his job, handle that big tender and add a few thousand bucks to his savings while remaining unhappy, or does he proceed with his resignation? What is the purpose of that tender?

We wouldn’t know, because we’re not God. But what we can do is to really look into ourselves and ask: What is it that I can offer?

Someone told me that obstacles are a test of how much you wanted something. I agree. At the same time, obstacles are also there to reveal the inner voice that we have been suppressing all along.

Maybe it’s time to unleash that giant within us, as what Anthony Robbins likes to say.

A Wake Up Call

Singaporeans sure had a very rude wake up call – to think that eating contaminated food could lead to death was appalling. What would have been diarrhoea and a day of bed confinement led to two deaths and one miscarriage instead.

From the news reports, one could gather that the public sentiments toward the hawker were more of understanding than reprimanding. However, what was more inexcusable was the fact that rats had been invading that territory, right under the noses of National Environment Agency (NEA).

Why do we always have to wait to be given a tight slap? When we look around, it’s not hard to find that this attitude of complacency has taken its root in almost every individual.

Couples don’t divorce overnight. People don’t get a heart attack by bingeing on fat the day before. Students don’t fail their final examination because they skipped one lesson.

It is the lacklustre attitude over a certain period that culminates in a situation that makes people sorry.

The question is: What happened to those signs and symptoms that were screaming for attention? Why are they sidelined? Why aren’t they accorded the due attention when they surface? 

If only everyone could be on their toes, then things usually wouldn’t turn out that bad. That said, we all know that it’s easier said than done.

Society pressure has given us more reasons to go easy when things are well. We are constantly on the look out to achieve more than we already have. In the process of doing so, we begin to overlook many things around us and start to take them for granted. Hygiene is a good example.

Well, hopefully, this serves as not just a good lesson, but one that really hits everyone so hard that we’ll all remember it and apply the due diligence every day for the rest of our lives.

Then again, the effect of this case will still vary from person to person. Because while it may hit some at the spot where it hurts the most, for the others, it’s just a scratch on the skin. Slightly itchy, yes. Painful, maybe still some way to go.