Tuesday, August 26, 2008

There Are Two Types Of Men Who Gain Weight…

I noticed that guys tend to put on weight after they ORD. Not all, but enough to form a general trend of kilos are being piled up post-NS faster than they were shed during NS.

If we take a look over a man’s lifespan, it’s not hard to find that they’re probably at their fittest during pre-tertiary days till serving NS. After that, those who kept in shape either do it out of a pure interest in their health, or vanity or they have to due to the nature of their profession, like gym instructors or celebrities.

But nowhere have we heard about guys who keep fit for love, have we? I haven’t. But it’s easy to hear scores of tales about how women spend time and money to keep their figure in shape and their appearance shapely so that they can keep the hearts of their men.

In fact, the opposite happens. When men got attached, their waistlines tend to increase together with their love for their gals, albeit at a different pace. They let down their guard completely when the relationship is inked in a certificate and recorded in a place called the Registry of Marriage.

Is love really the taboo for men’s fitness? Why is that so? Can this trend be reversed?

Not impossible, but hardly easy.

For one, women rarely marry a man because he looks so awfully gorgeous. Hunks with iron bods are great eye candies, but they are good for an ogling feast only. The fact that the women’s husbands are willing to put on an extra kilo just so they can save their tummy from bulging an inch is always deemed to be an eminent display of love. Why would they want to scrap this show of affection?

Therefore, as the waist line grows, the love grows too. But at least, these guys are the fortunate ones, because they are usually the ones being envied at.

By who?

By this group of guys who also get their bellies protruding by the day but without the love of another in return. So sad…

They bust their butts off during working hours, and drink their hearts out during happy hours. They eat late at night, either in the name of client entertainment or buddies bonding.

They lead an almost sedentary lifestyle. And when it’s almost that time of the year, some pack their running shoes and head to the tracks for a jog and some chin-ups, while adding in some curses and swears. The others? They pray and hope that some miracles will happen on the day they go for their annual IPPT. How about a sudden snowstorm? 

Late night outs, heavy drinking (and for some, smoking too) and high work stress show in their rotundness. When they realise they are in trouble is when they get rejected by some girls who do think that looks matter. And a fit body rules! 

Which man would you rather choose to be? Gaining weight over eating your beloved’s extra food, or in some drinking holes that neither offer you emotional comfort nor physical peace?
I’d say being the former is still the favourite choice.

But it doesn’t have to be like this! Men have every responsibility to attract your partners even if you have been married for donkey years!

Just because women aren’t only attracted to men’s physical outlook doesn’t mean they totally don’t care. I’m sure they’ll appreciate if you were to tell them that you are exercising to trim down that spare tyre a little so that you will look good beside her. Or letting her know that you are putting in effort to charm her because she is worth you doing it.

Plus though there is a valid and loving reason (great to hug and cuddle!) to not be so mindful about the way they look after they are married, men still need to watch out due to health.

I do! That’s why I’m always reminding myself and my hubby to watch what we eat. If I like him to stay in shape, I can’t allow myself to stray too far too, right?

You may like to take all these with a pinch of salt. It all started with a crazy idea, and I thought it would be fun to blog about this. Though not all men behave like what has been mentioned above, there are a comfortable number who do belong to this camp.

Oh, of course, there is the third type. Spun by love and constantly rejected for dates, these guys find solace in food. And don’t we all know that the more they gorge, they less dates they are likely to get?

If you are in the company of this third type of man, please do him a favour and get him to recognise his situation. Seeking professional assistance like having a coach to work with him on getting dates and having a successful relationship sounds like a much better or more feasible plan than downing three pizzas at one go. Unless, he is Michael Phelps. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

5 Lazy Things To Do For Your Girlfriend When You Book Out

How precious those two days out of a week are. Not only do you need to catch up on sleep, you still have to fret over little things like pleasing your girlfriend. It is important to make her feel important and she is your everything, besides the army, your computer games, your soccer match and your mother. Oh, and probably the dog too.

How can a time-starved NS guy make everyone happy and still get to hit the sheets for an undisturbed, sweet and deep sleep?

These 5 tricks may just work for you! They aren’t any run-of-the-mill tricks, but lazy yet extremely nifty stuff you can do for and with that special girl in your heart. All in a matter of hours!

1. Watch a DVD. Though old-fashioned, but is really a good way for both of you to relax together. Loosen up the atmosphere by having only warm light, and maybe some nice and yummy titbits to go along. Best part is: you get to doze off comfortably on her laps, and I don’t think she’ll be too crazy over this under such a circumstance. She might find the look of satisfaction on your face as you are floating in your dreamland so cute and irresistible! Good way to bring out her maternal instinct, I say!

2. Give her a bear hug. Not any type of casual ones, but a real, big, tight, long and hard hug. The hug should be the type where you will normally give it to someone whom you haven’t met in the last century or so. Such intensity will surely melt away any grievances she may have on the amount of time spent with her, because it makes her feel she’s the most special person in your heart. Hug is a wonderful language of love!

3. Rub it on. Give her a short yet ultra-relaxing and soothing back massage. As you are doing it, remember to list down all the specific moments when you were in camp and thinking of her. Even if it was just a fleeting second when you mistook your buddy for her at the time when you were totally knocked out.

4. What did she say her love language was? Ask her what is it that you do or say will make her feel loved? For all you know, it could be something very trivial and requires the minimal amount of time and effort from you and not like what you imagined to be. Like, an affectionate “I love you” and a deep, loving look in her eyes. Or just making her a cup of her favourite beverage will give her all the warmth she needs for that week. Don’t be afraid to ask her and find out. It’ll make your job much, much easier, really. 

5. Fly her to the moon! I don’t recommend rockets, because that will burn a hole in the universe without sparing your pocket either. There’s always a better (which means cheap and good) way to achieve goals. Lift her up to the sky with your praises. Telling her she smells good will make her heart flutter. Complimenting on the matching earrings (with her outfit that day) will let her heart skip one beat. Confessing to her that you have fallen in love with her again will probably make her faint. Then your job is done! You are free to do what you want with the rest of your time. A little crafty I know, but if it works, it’s good.

See! You don’t have to bring her to the beach and surprise her with big, red, juicy and sweet Korean strawberries and that bubbly champagne. You don’t have to have a candle-lit dinner complete with a personal violinist and a capella group especially at your service. You don’t have to play your guitar under her window place and belt our love songs all night long.

But, if you have the budget, time, and energy…. I leave it up to your imagination guys. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How Cookhouse Food Helps To Win A War

Last week Stuart, my sister and I had dinner with a friend. Somehow or rather, our conversation drifted to NS life. Such a digression should be considered natural now, when I’m dining with a guy friend. Because they’ll be grilled by me for juicy gossip or stories for me to blog here! (cue: sinister laughter here)

The two men started their reminiscence into the past, and frankly, some bits were far from glamorous. For the first time, I actually felt that listening to the NS stories can be interesting. Maybe finally they are stories and not just strings of sentences made up of nothing but jargon, NS jargon and more jargon.

Because they talked about a common love – food! How the cookhouse used to be so yucky to the standard it has now. Then I said something which would render me the most-hated person on earth. I mean, I thought what I said made plenty of sense, though not really popular or high in empathy. Blame it on me that I was using logic to look at the issue then.

Ok, this was what I said: “Shouldn’t cookhouse food be yucky? I thought it should be a simulation of war times, and the army won’t expect to have good food to eat during war right?”

Ok, you can start throwing rotten eggs at me now.

The two men stared at me as if they were ready to swallow me whole for sprouting such hugely-unbelievable-nonsense and gave me a look that screamed I-can’t-believe-you-actually-have-the-heart-to-say-that! I almost thought I was a criminal on death-row.

“No no no, then you’re wrong. Cookhouse food should be a luxury, so that we’ll be motivated to win and come back to eat nice food,” my friend immediately jumped in to prove me wrong after those seconds (I thought they were hours) of glaring, while Stuart shook his head in response to what I said and nodded fervently to what the friend said.

“Oh, you mean it is supposed to be a motivation factor for you guys to fight?” I asked in earnest.

“Yes, that should be the way. So when we are in the jungle fighting, we think of the good food at the cookhouse and we will do what we can to win the battle so that we can go back faster.”

“Oh I see, ok, if it’s in this case then I can see why. Ya, cookhouse should serve yummy food, ya ya.”

Something like this, I hope…

I hope my quick acceptance of this idea and even quicker ditching of my initial ‘opinion’ is a saving grace to keep my life.

How can I not know this concept? Haven’t I heard of and seen how the adage “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” works almost every time it is applied?

Dangling the carrot may still be the way to go. This reminds me of a joke that came through the email, which portrays how a man hired a company to help him lose weight. The concept is very simple, basic and definitely practical - making use of a man’s biological urge which, when stimulated, can be such a huge driving force (if you’re thinking of sex, I didn’t say it. You imagined so!) that not even the American President can stop him.

While away from values like going hungry is a strong motivator, delicious, warm, mouth-watering home-cooked food proves to be more lethal in luring the fighter spirit in these guys to want to go home safe and sound.

I remember how I would be in a delightful mood the whole day in school or at work just because I knew my mum would be preparing my favourite dish that night. Something simple like this made my day. Till now it still has such a healing effect.

Food is heavenly.

Who knows, if you are buddy with the cookhouse guy, he may whip up some specialty for you during his free time! Seriously I don’t know if this can be done, but I’m inclined to believe it might be, because I know how powerful bonding among human beings is, especially in a place like an army camp. 

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sultan is King!

It’s the durian season, if you haven’t already seen it, smelt it or tasted it. Barred from the king of the fruits due to my cough, I only had my share of ogling at these spiky beauties while sucking back my drooling saliva. This was a bad feeling. Very bad. 

Then I decided that enough is enough! I’m not going to sit back and watch anymore. My body told me that perhaps, with the nutrients from durians, I’ll be able to recover fully at a faster rate. I live by this dictum: when in doubt, trust your body. 

So I did.

Was I glad I did! On the night I made this brave decision, my sister, a friend and I ventured to Geylang for durians! Yay! Very coincidentally, we went to a new stall and our friend bumped into his friend, who happened to know one of the guys at this stall.

So quick introductions were made (this is great, that means we’ll have very yummy durians for sure!) and my friend’s friend asked his friend to treat us well. What a nice way to begin my durian feast after such a long ban.

The durian guy, let’s call him Mr. A, asked us what type of durians do we like. Do you know that there are so many new breeds in the market now? What used to be the king like D24 has to make way for other more superior choices.

We told him we just want to eat good durians, he said ok.

After a while, he came with one rather big one. With no time to waste, we dived in. Hmm… heaven. I think I knocked out for a second before coming back to life. I was told that was Sultan King. Wha, Sultan King. (Never heard before, but really delicious)

We went back again the next night and explored the “mountain cat king” (mao shan wang) which seemed to get high ratings from durian connoisseurs. My sister’s colleague even declared that she would not eat any other durian except “mao shan wang”. We had to sample it.

I tasted it, and didn’t take long to decide I still prefer Sultan King. The latter left a bitter after taste in my tongue, which I don’t really appreciate frankly. Who does? Isn’t the smell in our fingernails enough to remind us of the guilty treat we had at close to midnight? 

Anyway, I wanted to talk about this because I’d like to show our appreciation to this guy. No doubt he is a “mutual friend”, his level of service was commendable. When we feedback to him the “mao shan wang” durian tasted funny (according to my sis who had eaten it before somewhere), though he gave us an explanation, but seeing the look on our faces, he offered to exchange it for us with another Sultan King.

Eventually, we finished the “mao shan wang” because the taste wasn’t that funny after all. My sister asked for tissue paper on the first night, and he gave us well, toilet roll. So on the second night, my sister asked, rather shyly, if they have tissue? He hesitated for a while, and said ok he’ll get it for us.

Viola! A new box of Kleenex was passed to us minutes later! It was only on our way back that we realised he must have bought it from his neighbour’s drug store! Gosh, he’s really a nice man.

He even went to the extent or ordering drinks for us from the neighbouring coffee shop so that we could enjoy our durians without dying from dehydration.

Plus, the durians he picked for us were really yummy! Heavenly…. I must say. 

And he can be sure of our loyalty to his stall from now on. No doubts about it. We’ll blow our trumpets too!

Good service has to be rewarded, agree? No, we’re not going to boast about the tissue paper episode, less his kindness gets abused. We really ran out of our tissue paper that night, ok?

Last but not least, my cough did get better. So, my body is right after all.