Monday, June 30, 2008

Caution in the Wind

I threw it into the wind. The guards at the Whitley Detention Centre too. So did the officers at Immigration counters at the airport.  And you might be the next one, if you weren’t aware.

We all had one thing in common. Most unfortunately, it wasn’t something to toot our horns about. Rather, I feel kind of ashamed to even blog about it here. Well, if there lessons to be learnt here, even from my own negligence, then let me bear the shame! LOL

If you had read my personal blog, you may know that I was pickpocketed a week ago. If you didn’t know yet, not to worry. Here’s the story…

I was at Toa Payoh for an appointment. The person smsed me that he would be 30 minutes late. I was there on time, so that meant I had 30 minutes on my hand to burn. My sister cajoled me to look at the clothes on sale at the piazza area – the area of land just outside Burger King at the Toa Payoh hub.

So there I was, browsing through clothes that were selling cheaply and busy chatting with my sister. Now, I was carrying a bag with two zipper pockets in front. In one of them were my mobile phone and an ezLink card. My handphone had a strap attached and I had conveniently left it dangling outside the pocket. Well, if it was to my convenience, so it would be for others!

I didn’t think of that, really. Because I had assumed that I was on very safe grounds. I’m at home! What could possibly happen?

Let’s rewind to two months back.

The place – Jakarta, Indonesia.

Some of you may have remembered I was there for the first Patterns of Excellence programme. (Please check my previous post if you haven’t read yet) Whenever I’m abroad, my acute senses would go up a big notch. Call me paranoid, but I would rather play safe than be sorry. My hubby at times had to shake his hand about my “kiasuness”.

I would be always on my toes, clutching my belongings tightly. And I would never, ever, leave anything, not even a thread to indicate what could be inside my pants pocket, bag pocket, shirt pocket or whatever holes one can find to contain items in.

I guarded my stuff fiercely. And I would constantly remind my hubby to do so too, because if he didn’t, I would be worried too! Yes, I can be somewhat paranoid.

If only I had the same alertness when I’m back home.

Fast forward to that day at Toa Payoh.

To cut the story short, yes, I was pickpocketed. The pickpocket deftly unzipped the little front compartment and grabbed my handphone and the ezLink card. There, in a matter of perhaps one second, I lost them.

It didn’t take me long to find out, because I wasn’t wearing a watch that day and I depended on my mobile to show me the time. I would be checking it every other, say 5-10 minutes. So quickly, I realised they were gone. My sister called my on my mobile and it was off.

There – we concluded that someone had been sneaky enough to do something that I would never have imagined to happen in Singapore. But it did happen.

Where was our alertness? As Singaporeans, we have been so well protected that we are taking too many things for granted, wouldn’t you agree? Because we enjoy stability and safety, we have lowered our guards. It’s alright to take it slightly easier at our home ground than overseas (we don’t want to get really paranoid too!), but it’s definitely far from alright if we were to totally let it go.

How could I leave my handphone strap dangling like that? How could I not even know that someone had crept up so close to me? How could I make that big, wild assumption that nothing could ever happen?

I made two big mistakes – not being alert and not being aware.

So imagine how I thought what a big joke it was for the passport case to happen, in such a short time after the big slip-up in defence took place here.

Really, what’s the use of having more police officers at the immigration to check people’s passport at the airport, if they weren’t alert and aware? Because if they were, all it needs is but one person to point out something suspicious. Four stations of check are more than enough, if all of the officers there are in the highest vigilance mode in carrying out their work.

The dangers of taking things for granted. Never throw caution into the wind, my friends. 

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Doing What We Shouldn’t!

I was walking along the pathway when I had this feeling that a bicycle was riding up towards me from behind. I waited for the bell to ring to signal its coming, but the only sound I heard was that of the wheels rolling on the ground.

I turned around and verified that a bicycle was indeed behind me and coming close. I stepped away and walked along the side of the path, making way for it. The bicycle and its rider zoomed past me. It was a man, and he even turned his head to glance over me.

I began to wonder. Shouldn’t he ring his bell to alert pedestrians? Shouldn’t he have slowed down and veer to the side of the path when he sees someone walking ahead? Shouldn’t he…

Another incident took place earlier, along the streets within a pasar malam. Road paths were crowded, and people were walking at a snail’s pace with some huddling together buying food.

Then a loud bell rang. A woman riding the bicycle was right in the midst of the crowd and she kept ringing the bell so that all the pedestrians would make way for her to cycle through.

Heads turned to look at her, and as if there was a sudden spark of chemistry in the crowd, some of us locked eyes with each other. Without saying a word, we shook our heads and smiled. We could read each other’s thoughts. Talk about telepathy. 

The woman should get down from her vehicle and push it along gently while she walked. The street was packed with so many people, not to mention children, and yet she didn’t do as what she should for the safety of the public.

Instead, she did what she wanted.

A lot of times, we knew in our hearts what the things are that we should or should not do. How many times did we follow this rule? How many times did we break it? Why do we do that?

Shouldn’t we abide by those laws? Shouldn’t we strive to be good citizens of a nation? Shouldn’t we be polite towards our neighbours or strangers and offer our assistance whenever possible? Well, we should.

But more often than not, we didn’t.

If someone didn’t do what they should, what do we do? We then have to do things that we don’t need to! For instance, I don’t need to turn around and confirm that a bicycle is coming up and step away when the rider should alert me. But I did anyway, so that I will be safe.

Like you should inform your mom if you’re going home for dinner, but you didn’t. Your mom had to call you to check if she needs to cook your share. She didn’t have to do that, does she? She did anyway, so that you will have a warm dinner when you get home.

Like parents shouldn’t neglect their children, but some did. The children had to resort to other ways and means to get their attention, so that they could enjoy the family warmth they desired but missed.

In not doing things that we should, we are creating another event for someone as a result who had to do things that they shouldn’t to balance out the equation. Is this fair? It’s not, if we base it on the fact that every action has its consequence and the doer should be responsible for his or her action.

But what if this person wasn’t responsible? You get the picture?

Then again, we know that this world isn’t really fair, don’t we? 

Monday, June 23, 2008

Stuck with creepy crawlies

“Ahh! Ahh Ahh Ahh!! Mommy!!! Help!”

I screamed at the top of my lungs, hands flailing in the air and dashing left and right. Mom came, and soon I heard a loud, solid smack!

A little while later, when mom had cleared away the corpse, peace resumed.

That was just a summary of my encounter with an unwelcome guest. They come in various sizes and shapes. Some fly, some crawl. But frankly, how they look or travel doesn’t matter to me. So long as they appear, it’s hell for me. Oh, and my mom too.

Now is my hubby’s turn to rescue me.

I know, my reaction wasn’t something to be proud of. Still I find consolation to know that I’m not the only woman in this world to be so fearful of pests. What makes me even more unabashed is knowing some guys flee at the sight of a cockroach, lizard, or bee.

This is an outright fear I have towards creepy crawlies. There is one other fear that’s worse—something silent and difficult to detect. This is why I fear it so much.

I have a frequently recurring dream. At times it is more like a feeling that paralyses me in the middle of something when I’m wide awake.

In this scene, I find myself chased by someone. All of a sudden, my legs will be stuck to the ground. No matter how much strength I use, I just couldn’t bring them to move. I panicked.

Another version of this vision is I’ll be running in pursuit of something or someone. As much as I want to dash faster, I just couldn’t. I would be travelling at a snail’s pace. I said travelling because I’m slower than taking a relaxed stroll, so running is definitely not the word to use here.

The amount of energy I exert is huge, as I can feel it welling up inside my body. This is when the fear comes in. I can be wielding a lot of force but my body isn’t co-operating! It isn’t responding to my wishes.

I then realised that I am stuck on one place. I am stagnant.

At this point, I would either wake up from my dream or from my vision.

I dislike this feeling. But I wasn’t able to connect this sensation to my life so I can make sense (pun intended) out of it. I’m able to now, finally.

It is a fear of remaining stagnant in life! A fear of not learning anything new, fear of not able to contribute to society, to my family and friends, and people who are important to me. A fear of deteriorating in my life if I don’t improve and be better.

Learning is an evergreen value in my life. I had it since I was just a little girl. I remembered how I would be so driven to study for exams so that I can be in peace later to bury myself in as many books as I can lay my hands on and my waking hours allow me to.

Thus, the thought that I’m not learning anything any more, be it a result of capability or capacity or desire freaks me out. How can I not discover new things? How can I not acquire new wisdom, new insights? How can I not absorb new happenings in life?

I can’t. It makes me feel like a zombie. I feel stifled. I feel breathless. I feel…. stagnant.

I fear this.

So to avoid having this feeling creeping up, I keep myself occupied with learning new things—a hobby or skill—or brushing up an existing skill.

I like this sense of accomplishment. It makes me whole.

What about you?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Bus Ride

A mix of old and new – this was how I felt when I was riding on Bus 852 that day. Taking the time to survey the interior of the bus, I noticed that it was retrofitted with more modern gadgets like the ezlink card reader and it came with air-conditioner.

Nothing surprising I guess, as long were the days when we had to pray hard that the bus we were waiting for would be air-conditioned. Now, all buses come with cool air.

Gone is the luxury of having warm breeze blowing against our face, or the irritation of the strong wind messing up our hair when the window was opened.

Ah, speaking of the window. This bus had the old window panes where one had to press down the levers on both sides hard enough to push the window up and to latch it onto one of the 3 “holes” to lock it into place. I remembered how I had to struggle with this, as I didn’t have enough strength to do it. Hence, I’d always watch out for which windows were open and how high they were locked in as the higher the pane was lifted, the more wind would be blowing against me.

So can you imagine how much deliberation I had to make before making a decision on where to sit within the mere seconds of boarding the bus and choosing a seat? That was provided empty seats were in abundance. When they weren’t, I had something else to worry – I wasn’t tall enough to reach the bell that was located as a strip at the ceiling that ran down the entire length of the bus.

Then, taking a bus was quite a frightening experience. Now, bells are found at every seat, or every alternate seat and I don’t have to worry about the windows anymore. So as I looked at those latches, I smiled. 

The other familiar sights include the single seats that are located at the left of the bus. I used to love sitting on these seats because I could have it all to myself. Until now, I still like the single seats. But we can’t find these anymore in the new buses where they all come with double seats.

Especially when I was on long trips, I would take the single seat and listen to my walkman throughout the entire journey. Yes, I listened to cassette tapes and tune in to the radio with the receiver. There were no mp3 players and digital songs were unheard of. I even remembered I would bring along extra batteries if I knew the existing one were going to run dry soon. Ha! So I would have an endless supply of the same songs playing over and over again.

Hmm… those were the days. That was 20 years ago.

I wonder how would the bus be like 20 years from now…  

Friday, June 13, 2008

How Ready Are We?

I am deeply saddened by the news of the death of two NS men in a span of two days. I was in Bintan then when I saw this news ticker flashing across CNA, at the bottom of the TV screen. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but I knew it was true when I came back and heard the news.

Then, today’s newspaper’s front page gave me another shock as I learned of another death just one day after the first. “What? Another one?” was my initial thought.

I’m not yet a parent, but I could feel the heartache of these two boys’ parents. Maybe because I’m a woman, or maybe because I just watched a drama with a sad ending that dismayed me last night.

I was led to think about this – how ready are we? How ready are we to face sudden deaths of our loved ones, be it by an accident or unfortunate incidences like these. How ready are we to handle an unforeseen crisis? How ready are we to deal with a turnaround in our lives overnight?

We all know death come to everyone, but we just didn’t like the fact that it will come upon people around us without giving us advance notice. The pain that one suffers from such a shock is vastly apart from one that witnesses a slow and painful departure due to an illness.

I’m sure Andrew Cheah and Clifton Lam had many dreams unfulfilled and they didn’t expect to leave this world without any last words. On the same note, I believe that their camp mates would be tormented by memories of them being part of their team, and how everyone had undergone the ups and downs in their in-camp training.

I know, we can never be ready to accept abrupt changes as a result of inopportune events. But at least, we can know that when things happen, there will be ways to sort them out.

Besides an untimely and unexpected death, there are many regrettable events that do happen around the world. Like the overnight stock market crash, the first job retrenchment, the first miscarriage, a friend’s betrayal, a broken marriage promise all can cause our lives to collapse and break into pieces.

Are we emotionally strong to handle those lousy feelings that come as a result? Are we physically strong to tackle the challenge? Are we mentally strong to manage the extreme stress conditions that we could be in? Are we spiritually rich and strong to continue to have faith in ourselves and in God or the higher universe?

Because most of us aren’t emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually ready to handle the downfall in our lives when they come, therefore we need support. Be it from people whom we have known for decades, or from strangers, support serves as the life jacket that will keep our heads above the waters. We won’t drown, but we still need to swim ourselves to the land. The life jacket won’t do the job for us.

So friends, if you are a friend of either Andrew or Clifton, maybe all you can do now is to be the life jacket for each other. While keeping each other afloat, remember to encourage your team members to start swimming. 

Time is the best medicine. I agree. 

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The World Can Wait?

How do you feel when you know that the world can wait? That you have all the time in your hands to do whatever you love doing, and the world can wait after you finish?

It feels good, right? Indeed. To lose track of time, with no hand phone ringing in the most inappropriate time and to let yourself free from all your commitments is truly a luxury worth waiting for.

I was lost in a world of enjoyment for the past two days when I went for a short trip with my sister. With a carefree spirit, we did things that we weren’t planned in advance. Ok, we had to make appointments for our spa treatments, but besides this, there was nothing that was planned or pre-arranged.

So, in a way, the advertisers were right. The world can wait, can’t it?

Nay, as I realised. The world still can’t wait for you if you don’t allow them to wait. How so?

Have you ever experienced such a feeling when you are in a vacation and yet all you can think of is the work undone in the office? Or you are mentally rehearsing for the oh-so-important presentation as you wind surf on the beautiful blue ocean? Maybe you are mapping out your career path when you are suppose to be enjoying a romantic and relaxing dinner under the stars with your loved one or family?

You just find it hard to totally let go and be free!

Is freedom that hard to achieve?

Well, if we don’t give ourselves permission to be free, we will never be. Not even if you have a million dollars in your bank. Not even if you are old and your children have all grown up and earning more than enough money to supplement your monthly pension. Not even if you know you can share your deepest fear and inner most feeling with your partner because he/she is totally trustworthy.

We hold on to this thing that is always preventing us from enjoying complete freedom – fear.

Fear of rejection prevents us from enjoying the freedom of opening ourselves to others.

Fear of intimacy prevents us from enjoying the freedom of a deep connection and bonding with people who matter to us – our best friends, our parents, our siblings and our partners.
So even if we are embraced in nature, with the sound of waves lapping up and the gentle swaying of trees making up a mesmerising composition, we still will not be free until the moment when we say yes to internal freedom.

When that happens, when the heart is free, the world can wait.

Until then, we are still waiting to catch up with the next wave in the world. 

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Frienships That Last

I was going through some forums that talk about NS while doing research. A few newbies or those about to enter NS were asking for some tips on how NS life is and how they can survive their stint.

An answer that appeared more than 3 times was this – make friends and you’ll be ok.

True enough, in an environment where team work is of utmost importance, friendships are always the saving grace.

The all-for-one and one-for-all spirit is something which everyone has to learn. It’s either you get it on the first day and hence make life easier for yourself, or you will eventually get it when you are receive enough punishment through no fault of yours.

Either way, you have to get this concept drilled into your head from day one. Even better, from day zero. In this manner, you’ll realise how precious a strong friendship is during times like this.

I can truly relate to how this feels. When I was in my secondary school, I was very actively involved with my ECA, St. Johns Ambulance Brigade. Every year there would be a foot drill competition. Being the many-times champion, we had to send the best squad to defend our title.

Do you know what that means? Almost 10 hours of practice daily during the school holidays under the sun with no time left for any play or rest. We sweat, we bled. But we grew much closer. The competition squad always had more stories to share with each other because of what we went through.

While others looked at the way we practised and shook their heads, we were in all-time high spirits. Yes, we were very exhausted. We were smelly from all the sweat.

What was the reason that we could remain sane when our training was near insanity? What was the reason that after more than 10 years down the road, we would still recall those moments with nothing but fondness?

Friendship! When we had to be punished for not executing a drill with perfect timing together, when we had to carry heavy wooden benches and run in the carpark, when we were in tears after we lost in the competition, when we were laughing after we won the competition, when we sang together, the seeds of friendship had slowly blossomed into a undying devotion for each other.

Isn’t if the same in NS? When you couldn’t book out for the weekend because one fellow had kept a live bullet, when you had to squeeze into one shower and see each other in the buff and still pretend not to be shy, when you had to watch out for each other’s back during the exercises, you are already doing something that will be of great help to you in your future relationship.

Bonding! That is done through the active involvement in each other’s well-being, in doing things together and in the constant communication.

But why is it that guys can bond so well in the army days, and when they get married, they forgot about the need to bond with their wives entirely?

Maybe it’s because they are forced to bond in the army. Maybe it’s because they feel that bonding is a guy thing. Well guys, like it or not, your partners need to bond with you as much too, if you want to keep the passion alive and sizzling all the way in your relationship!

As much as you treasure your relationship and friendship with your army buddy, even after you have ORD for decades, you should realise how effective and important this effort is in creating and sustaining a successful relationship. Something that will allow you to relive again when you are old and toothless.