Friday, August 24, 2007

What would you like to read?

Ok, please help me out. I have been racking my brains over what to blog about. Short of rambling about myself, which may not be that interesting anyway, what is it you like to know more about?

You know I’m a love coach and the author of “The 69 Love Notes - Secrets To A Loving And Lasting Relationship”. So, my passion and expertise lies in dating, relationship, love and romance.

But that doesn’t mean I can only blog about that area, isn’t it?

Leave your comments here in this blog and tell me what you like to know. Or you can email me.

Let me hear you.

Love In The Weekends – How To Create a Lasting Impact On Your Girlfriend In 2 Days

Save for the occasional holidays, as an NS man you only get to see your girlfriend during the weekend when you are booked out.

I know, many of you make use of this time to run errands, chill out with friends, stone in front of the TV, computer etc. Oh! You will probably use half a day to catch up on sleep, am I right?

And for some of you who have a girlfriend, you have one more party to apportion your time to. So, how can you maximize the 2 days to create a lasting effect on your loved one?

As a love coach, I have clients asking me to give them some tips. In my book I gave a total of 69. Let me see how I can take some of the 69 love secrets and modify them to suit this occasion.

It’s like a long-distance relationship

Even though you are in Singapore, but due to the nature of serving NS, there could be times when you may be totally uncontactable. Imagine you are now overseas, how would you spend those precious times you have with your girlfriend when you’re back for a holiday?

Besides pleasing her with gifts and giving her your full attention, one thing for sure is, you will do your best to cut short the arguing time, or to prevent them totally. 

It’s the thought that counts

Have you ever sent her positive and loving thoughts right before you are due to meet her? Why not give this a shot and see if she’ll feel anything different.

Vibes are contagious, especially if they are full of loving and happy molecules. It’s really the thought that counts, at times.

Tell her stories

And continue them the next time you meet her. Curiousity may kill the cat, but it certainly helps to create suspense, and thus, excitement in a relationship. Use it to your advantage.

Break her bones

I mean, make her laugh so hard till she breaks her bones. Such bursts of laughter will make her feel that time passes quickly. And what does this mean for you? It means she will be looking forward to the next weekend!

Work on projects

Create some projects that both of you can indulge in, for example, building a model plane together or doing a mega jigsaw puzzle. In this way, both of you have something to engage in and to look forward to.

When the project is done, find another one to work on. You’d be surprised at how much bonding such activities can bring you, not to mention the amount of new things you can learn too!

Looks like some amount of thinking needs to be expended on your side if you want to wow your girlfriend over a mere 2 days, and to allow that effect to last till the next one.

I hope this article helps to stimulate your creativity cells.

Till the next one…

Thursday, August 23, 2007

How To Brainwash Your Girlfriend To Stay With You While You Are In NS

Brainwashing? Now, that doesn’t sound quite right and ethical, does it?

But, if brainwashing your girlfriend’s mind allows you to have that relationship survive, then what is the harm in doing that then?

The issue lies in the intention.

If the intention behind the action and motive is a positive one, then brainwashing could be an easy way to achieve your intended purpose.

Therefore, I’m boldly assuming that you guys are good. You will only be applying this technique to let your girlfriend feel more secure and happy in your love, and you are happy to be the provider.

Here’s what you can do.

1. Find out what are her values and preferences – then do your best to find the similarities and match them.
2. Find out what are her dislikes – then brainwash her by allowing her to see that differences create more excitement in a relationship and there is a higher percentage of complementing each other!
3. The hopper syndrome – tell her that relationship hopping has a co-relation with how successful she will be in life. Unless things are really nasty, otherwise there’s no reason why she have to walk away from you instead of resolving the problems.
4. Make her think about you everyday – leave memories of you in her life. You can also create a sense of mystery by arousing her curiosity.
5. Tell her stories of successful cases and make her want to be part of them.
6. Redefine romance – convince her that absence makes the heart fonder. Remember to show it when you see her.
7. Treat her nicely, really.

Brainwashing is about knowing what your girlfriend is attracted and not attracted to. Then you tap onto the former and you convince her the latter by using any ways and means like persuasion, seduction, reframing etc.

Make use of any situation to turn it into your favour and magnify that instance. It is about the power of magnetism. 

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Art of Seduction For “Botak” NS Men

I want you to picture this question in your head.

When you see a bald man, what do you see?

An artist? A celebrity? A famous hairstylist? A macho man? A gay?

Ok, I was joking on the last bit.

I know many of you cringe on the idea of having to shave your head when you are enlisted into NS.

Gone are the days when you can gel and wax your hair to seduce girls and gain attention.

But without the hair, can you still turn on your charms and make girls squeal in delight at the sight of you?

Why not?

Here’s how you can do it.

Be an alpha male

An alpha male is the man in the community whom the others follow and defer to.

An alpha male holds so much confidence that it’s not a matter of how much hair he has on his head, but how high his self-esteem is.

Does an ego maniac capture a girl’s heart? No, but if he oozes charm and supreme confidence in his demeanour, the way he speaks, his posture, his attention towards the girl, then the only way to sabotage himself is he doesn’t believe he is one alpha male.

Before you can successfully pull off this seduction tactic, be sure to do some homework in advance.

Find out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Tap on the former and discover ways to diminish how the latter will be perceived by others, especially the opposite sex.

Check your physical appearance. What type of clothes can make you look outstanding with the roundness of your head? Which part of your body gives you the most confidence?

Are you an expert in any field? If you aren’t, make yourself one. Look for a specific subject you are already interested in, or find one that appeals most to the opposite sex and be the professional in that field. You are sure to impress.

Learn how to give out and read body signals. In this way, you are tapping onto the girl’s subconscious mind, which is what seduction is all about, isn’t it?

Last but not least, run a test check.

This sounds easy, doesn’t it? Well, the good news is it can be easy. The not so good news is – this isn’t the complete package of what an alpha male is. There is more to it…

If you can’t visualize yourself as an alpha male, then don’t attempt this. It works well only if you can execute it to perfection. Else, it’s pretty hard to pick up the pieces after a failed attempt.

If all else fails, embrace your “botak” and make yourself look cute! Afterall, if a guy can laugh at himself, he sure is one funny person to be with.

Laughter is the next best way to win a girl’s heart! 

Thursday, August 16, 2007

A Fighting Spirit

As a NS man, do you have it?

Are you fighting to impress your superior in army, or are you fighting to get the most comfy job?

In whichever case, you need to have a certain understanding of your enemy (or target) before you can get your goal.

When you are in a war, what makes a hundred-men army win a thousand-men platoon?

I know, strategy is the answer.

How about fighting spirit?

Maybe you are forced to build up this spirit in the setting of a war, because it’s either you fight or you die.

Then, can I ask you to take the same level of energy, alertness and fighting spirit and map it over into other parts of your life? For example, your study, work, relationship, health etc.

How much more success will you achieve if you have that fighting spirit? To never say die, to persevere, to go all the way until the outcome is achieved or it is really impossible to turn the tide.

How do you think cancer patients survive when the doctor has given up hope? How do you think a marriage can last when one party has almost stepped out of the partnership? How do you think a student can score an A from an F with a last burst of fire during the final three months before the exams?

I’d say, it could very well be the fighting spirit.

What say you?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Catching Up In Love? I’m Sorry.

I’m playing catching up. Madly.

Why? Because I haven’t been blogging regularly for the past two months due to my poor health. It’s been going on in cycles and now I’m battling another flu virus which I caught from someone very close to me. Sheesh…

We are always racing against something or someone in our lives. In school, you could be losing out to the person sitting right next to you if you don’t pay as much and as good attention to your teacher and hence missing out on the information being taught.

That means, you have more catching up on revision to do than him/her. That much, we’re pretty sure we have not much problems dealing with.

However, I can’t help but to consider this alternative: can we actually catch up in love?

The dating industry has changed speedily. I used the word speedily to illustrate the increase in speed at which couples got together nowadays, compared to then.

Now that we know the lead time for a girl and a guy to start a relationship has been shortened, is there any chance for anyone to catch up?

My answer is, it really depends. However, looking at the odds, I wouldn’t like to recommend a guy sitting too long on the intention to go after a girl whom he is madly attracted to.

Even if he is mildly attracted to her, wouldn’t it be wiser to find out more about her by asking her out for some dates before deciding if he wants to hold her hands and declare themselves as an item, rather than waiting till he is utterly well-prepared to make the move?

Because, by the time he decides to play catch up, it could well be too late.

Even if his attempts in wooing the girl fails, still, wouldn’t it be better to feel the pangs of rejection, get it healed and move on instead of hating himself to the gut for not even doing his best, thus resulting in his rival winning the girl’s fancy?

If you are reading this, I hope you can take a minute and recall what are the things in life that you have been always catching up on?

If love is part of them, how successful has it been? It it wasn’t, when is now the best time to start a totally new strategy? 

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Treasure Hunt

Now that I’m on a reminiscence trail after penning the post “Honour and Passion”, I am on another roll!

Let’s talk about this game which has been played while I was very small as a kid, and survived through the generations to reach to what it is now. 

Do you remember forming yourself up into a team of say, 4 to 5 people, cracking your brains to solve some silly riddles so that you’ll pass that stage and get the answer to the clue to move you one inch closer to the targeted reward?

Of course, usually you weren’t alone. Competition is keen, and rife. And nobody wants to be the losing team as that meant they were slow (in brain and in action).

You were on a treasure hunt! Remember how much fun you had?

This game seems to be a hot favourite, and apparently it still is now. You can find it being played in school orientation camps, leadership camps in your ECAs, prefect camps etc.

From the look of it, only students are playing. In actual fact, many adults are enjoying the thrill of this game too!

I remember helping out in this company that specializes in creating a treasure hunt trail not just within a limited compound, but that stretches across the causeway! Yes, they do this for companies who like to have some alternatives besides the usual eating and dining on their annual dinner and dance.

So we had each team in a car, and we set up several stations along the route from Singapore to a designated location in Malaysia where their hotel was. At certain stations, they were required to pass some tests (which were meant to make them look silly while having loads of fun and laughter) before they could get the clue, and start cracking their brains.

And these were very grown-up adults who could be as old as mid 40s!

Treasure hunting with a twist is wildly becoming popular as a game to build teamwork, strategy building and executing and definitely creating motivation – to reach for the goal within a certain period of time.

Now that technology is rapidly advancing, I know of this game Mobihunt that incorporates what we love doing now, smsing on our mobiles, into this game of treasure hunting!

I guess what keeps this game going is not just the fact that people love challenges, but also the fact that the outcome is normally not that important anymore compared to the lessons they learn along the process.

Depending on how big the team is, there are many lessons to be learnt in a treasure hunt. A leader needs to be appointed for example. How good his or her leadership is will affect the rate the team moves and advances.

If the team is a small one that consists of only two people, like this one, it is an excellent way to see how you handle disputes and differences in opinion, and also how much trust you have on yourself and your partner.

Of course, if you are teaming up with your spouse or partner, there are even more things you can learn about him/her, and see how your partner reacts under the pressure of time, weather, among all things.

A good test for your relationship I must say.

Go and play treasure hunt in the name of fun, and I am sure you will come back with a load full of happy and joyful moments. Aren’t these memories worth more than the prize itself? 

Honour and Passion

Is Army about that? Honour and passion?

I don’t know. Can anyone be passionate about going to war, or preparing for one per se? The possibility is always there, as shown on TV now.

I’m referring to the TV drama serial now showing on Channel 8 “Honour and Passion”.

Living in Singapore, I must say we are really blessed to have ever-ready army to defend for this little island when the need comes. As I have out-grown the stage to play visiting to the newly-recruits, and yet to reach the phase where I have to pack for my ingoing son, I’m glad to catch a glimpse of the army daze, I mean, days during the first three months of training via the TV screen.

Am I amazed at the changes there are!

I still recall, well not too fondly I guess, the time when we as visitors had to endure the sweltering heat to cross the “ocean” to reach the other side of the island Pulau Tekong to visit a good friend.

It really wasn’t an easy trip for us, unlike now.  I came home with a sun-tanned complexion and more than warranted mosquito bites all over. Blame it on my spaghetti top, but I couldn’t imagine wearing anything thicker without getting heat stroke then.

The rooms looked pretty similar at that time and what I saw on TV. Same set-up, one bed and a cabinet for the guys to place photos of their idols, girlfriends or girls they are secretly carrying a torch for.

Once in a while, I caught a glimpse of some putting family photos. How sweet. But then that’s really one out of that many cabinets. I strongly suspect that guy will bring it down once that photo has been exposed to all his room-mates as he became the laughing stock of all.

I wonder what idols’ photos will be there now? I remember seeing the sweetie-pie singer from Hong Kong Vivien (can’t remember her last name as I’m typing now, sorry guys!) as a rather popular choice then. Who’s the reigning princess now? Maybe you can drop me some comments and keep me updated!

There was no air-condition in the rooms, and there certainly wasn’t any mosquito nets covering our beloved friends and brothers while they were sleeping!

But I guess the nets are there for a good purpose, as I understood how dangerous it can be if they were being “attacked” by dengue mosquitoes in the middle of their sweet, nice slumber.

At that time, not all the recruits will be sent to Pulau Tekong. Some of the luckier ones we visited had the chance to stay on mainland, and I remember one guy who booked into a camp near Yishun with rooms that were air-conditioned! He’s the luckiest chap among all, and I must agree that visit was one of the breeziest one for us too.

Looking back and comparing to the present lives, we have came quite a way. Although I don’t have to do National Service, but guys, we ladies have our fair share of worries, anxiety, heartaches and sleepless nights when you were out there, somewhere in a remote island learning how to defend our country, while making friends with some out-of-the-world creatures like owls and bats.

“Honour and Passion” would have been a much more enjoyable watch if they don’t “advertise” too blatantly on how the army looks like, as they did when the youngest son of the family Wenguo booked in for the first time. But I guess, this is the best way to showcase what they have and the new recruits’ lifestyle to rest the many hundreds of mother’s minds at ease, to know that now their precious sons will be nicely taken care of. 

When they are in the jungle that will be another story of course. That we know, and understand.

But I can’t deny the fact that the food looks so much yummier than before! Well, whether or not the looks deceive I won’t know, maybe not until a decade later will I find out…

The best part of the show? In my opinion, I’m still looking out for the development of all the love stories taking place in the family. Oops! Is this my occupational disease? Maybe, or maybe I’m just born with this passion!