The Day Projects Started Falling From the Sky

Phew! Polytechnic life sure is a handful!

Ok, at least if you want to get a high score – it is tough!

Already into the second day of the week, I get piled with the list of projects to finish for this semester: I have a research report to write before mid-May, a presentation due two weeks from today, a group writing project to finish by the 6th week of school, article-reading reports to write by the end of week 8.

Adding on to the pressure is one module that is tying me up in jitters by keeping mum on whether there is any project requirement. When they mentioned that polytechnic life is hands-on, they literally mean putting your hands on the deck!

On the flip side is the dearth of tutorials. Well, one less thing to worry about – though I get a little bit worried about my pending first in-camp training, which starts on the first week of my school holidays. Just barely one week after that is a term test. Not the most optimistic news to receive, but that’s how it goes.

We’re a kind of a rare breed in polytechnic: most of my classmates are 5 years my junior – and due for their full time National Service after this course ends. So far, I’ve met only 3 other NSmen, and we’re blending pretty well into the landscape – how could we not be, when we have such youthful faces?

I’m still undecided on how to juggle both my NS obligation and my studies, but obviously I am more in love with what I am studying right now (Information Technology), so if the crunch gets tight, I might need to ask my unit for permission to let me off for my exam preparation.

That said, I don’t regret having gone through my full-time National Service – the added discipline I learned there helped a lot to enable me to cope with the demands of school life. I don’t feel as tired going through lessons from 8.30am to 5pm, and having to climb up a hill to get to my school (which is an isolated group that somehow got planted on top of a hill as if the building itself was an after-thought) didn’t leave me as breathless as it did back when I was in junior college.

With maturity comes a paradigm shift – no longer do I get an urge to ditch my homework for games, I take an extra effort to do the few tutorials that we have to do, and start early on for those numerous projects – though being studious means sticking out like a sore thumb. Hopefully, by reaching out to my classmates, I would be able to infect them with the same virus – what better way to avoid the mistakes I made than by starting their studies early?

Bored? Get board instead.

Board games used to be targeted at a niche audience, warranting heavy game-play only among very few. Nowadays, however, with the release of many new and interesting games as well as the appearances of board game cafes like Settler’s Café and Mind Café, board games are no longer only for geeks and families looking for something to occupy their Sundays with. 

Despite that, however, there are still some who think board games are only meant for the nerds or for the terminally bored, not knowing that there are many, many board games out there which are guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours on end. So, while many Singaporeans complain about our country being a boring place to live in, board games sit quietly in their corner, promising a world of fun but no one seems to listen.

While I might not profess to know every single board game out there or even a vast majority of it, I do like to head down to the aforementioned cafes with my friends every once in a while to try out new games and revisit old faves. So, next time if you ever decide to patronise any board games café, here’re some of my suggestions of more obscure games (at least in Singapore) for some real fun.

1. Ticket to Ride

Ticket to Ride was introduced recently to me by one of my friends (who’s a huge fan of board games himself) and, while the rules and game-play formats were a tad overwhelming at first, my friends and I discovered the gems of the game after only half an hour of play.

Basically (and I do mean basically, since the game has quite intricate rules), players will be given destination cards at the beginning of the game, which shows them where they have to start their train services from and their final destination (which will be seen on the board itself, a huge map containing a whole spider web of train tracks and railways). The objective of the game is to form completed train tracks (by using different coloured cards to lay down plastic train carriages on the rails) from your starting locations to your final destinations by the end of the game (which happens when any player runs out of the plastic train carriages).

For every destination that is reached, the player is awarded a number of points stated on the destination cards (the longer the distance between the locations, the higher the points awarded) and for every destination not reached, points are deducted. The player with the longest continuous track also gets extra points. The player with the most points at the end of the game wins.

While Ticket to Ride is definitely not light nor easy on the brain, it’s a perfect game for those who are looking for deeper playing since there’s a lot of strategising (figuring out how to build your tracks without giving your own final destinations and routes away), guesswork (trying to figure out what the destinations are for the other players) and sabotage (building your own carriages to block their passage).

2. Taboo

Ok so Taboo is not exactly the most unknown game ever. However, comparative to the most popular and commonplace games in Singapore (Monopoly, Scrabble, The Game of Life etc.), Taboo is sort of pushed aside, relegated to second tier in terms of favourite games.

Despite that, Taboo is one of the most fun games I’ve ever played and it dominates a vast bulk of the sessions that my friends and I usually have.

For those unfamiliar with the game, Taboo is a word description game, whereby, in teams, players have to describe certain words to their team-mates without using the five terms most commonly associated with the words (stated on the cards). For every taboo word that is mentioned (that is, one of the five words on the card), points are taken away while, for every word guessed correctly, points are awarded. The team with the highest number of points at the end wins.

What I love about the game is that, since it draws on personal and group experiences and similar perspectives and views about certain words, every single game of Taboo played with different groups of friends is always very different, even when describing the same words. It’s especially when you draw on some previous inside joke or familiar term to describe a word accurately to your team-mates, only to leave the opposing team puzzled and confounded.

What’s more, there’s even a Singaporean edition of Taboo, which features colloquialisms commonly used in our daily lives, which adds a touch of familiarity and uniqueness to the game and makes for even more fun.

3. Cranium

I have to say that Cranium is the best board game I’ve ever played and is, naturally, my favourite board game of all time. An award winning game overseas, Cranium is an immaculately and well-constructed amalgamation of Charades, Pictionary, Trivia games and spelling games.

Using a first-team-to-reach-the-end-point system that makes Ludo and Snakes & Ladders such perennial favourites, Cranium has players performing different tasks every time they roll the dice (which has colours on each side instead of numbers), depending on the colours they land on. If they can successfully complete the task, they are allowed to move their pawns.

Cranium is split into four sections:
-Creative Cat (blue) is all about art and conveying words without speaking or gesturing, using either drawing (in some cases with the eyes closed) or sculpting clay to try to get team-mates to get the correct terms;
-Data Head (red) is about trivia and general knowledge (or, in some cases, not-that-general knowledge);
-Word Worm (yellow) is about linguistic abilities, letting players spell complicated words backwards (like Mediterranean, which I can’t even spell forward correctly without using a spell-check), unscrambling anagrams as well as guessing the definitions to random words;
-Star Performer (green), which is my personal favourite section, is all about acting and, like the name implies, performing. Players get to impersonate famous people, act out charades or hum out tunes to popular songs for their team-mates to guess, often to hilarious results

With such a wide scope of activities ensuring variety as well as preventing monotony in game-play, Cranium offers up a fun, enriching experience for everyone. You not only end the game laughing and having thoroughly enjoyed yourself, sometimes you even end up learning some new fact or word. Enjoyable and educational. How often do you find a game like that?

So, hopefully, I’ve interested you enough for you to go try out these games next time you decide to go to a board games café (or even to go to the board games cafés themselves). This coming Labour Day, instead of blowing your money out on over-priced movie tickets, why not head down to the rest café and have a spanking good time instead?

Pre-Enlistment Blues?

I believe you guys have grumbled your share from the day you receive the notification to the eve of your enlistment into National Service. Some say, right all the way to the last day of their NS! Gosh! So this post is not for additional catharsis work.

Rather, having been there before, this is about the blues that your girlfriends experience the day you got called by our nation to the day you finally went in.

Wanna hear about it from the girls? Let’s shoot.

Is there such a word, at all? Well, I’m not sure, but a quick Google showed some promising results! There is such a word after all!

I believe you guys have grumbled your share from the day you receive the notification to the eve of your enlistment into National Service. Some say, right all the way to the last day of their NS! Gosh! So this post is not for additional catharsis work.

Rather, having been there before, this is about the blues that your girlfriends experience the day you got called by our nation to the day you finally went in.

Wanna hear about it from the girls? Let’s shoot.

Top 10 Pre-Enlistment Blues Of A NS Man’s Girlfriend

1. She can no longer see you as and when she likes to, or need to. She now ranks below a much greater mission that is awaiting you to fulfill. And, the sad thing is, our Prime Minister doesn’t have time to entertain her emails too. Or sms…

2. She starts to imagine all the hardship you are about to endure, and uncontrollably, she begins to weep. Rather than being a sensitive new age boyfriend as you should be, you ask her to stop crying in public as you don’t want to be seen as bullying her!

3. She went on a crazy shopping spree to fill your bag up with all your favourite Ferraro Roche, panda cookies and biscuits. Only to find out you can’t bring them in, and your mom has prepared another bag with twice the amount of food. Oh, your mom added in the medication oil too. Axe brand. All of a sudden, she felt defeated…

4. She’s waiting for her chance to spend some quiet moments with you before you’re gone for three months straight. But she had to either share you with all your buddies, secondary school mates, primary school mates, JC mates, basketball/soccer teammates, family, or she won’t get to see you at all.

5. She already finds it hard to talk to you now, and her anxiety is building up when she foresees that it’ll be even harder for you to listen to her without dozing off after you sweat and toil away in the mud. Communication is mission impossible as it seems, nearly.

6. She wants you to have her photograph stuck to the door of your cabinet. Alas, she knew you would have chosen Jolin’s instead. Suddenly, she feels inferior, but nothing compared to the frustration welling up.

7. She’s worried that when your hair is all but gone, there’s nothing for her to play with. There goes the last bit of entertainment with you when your eyes are glued to the TV watching soccer on your day off, or playing computer games.

8. She’s heard of all the horror stories in camp, and she can’t bear to see you being sent to the “gallows” while she stood there watching, feeling helpless. But think as she may, she’s still hesitant to serve NS on your behalf, for fear of breaking those nicely manicured nails. The conflict is killing her.

9. She wants to cook a nice meal for you so that you will remember her fondly. But when she broke the egg for the 10th time, she began to get real frantic. Suddenly, she realized that things aren’t lost completely, as she had bought a dozen eggs. So she reached for the last two eggs standing…

10. Truly but sadly, she is counting down to the days when she will have her long-awaited new found freedom! Why is the government waiting so long to get you in?

Alright guys. Do take this with a pinch of salt. If you find it funny, drop me a note. If you don’t, take it as a feeble attempt to entertain you.

But truly, in all honesty, if you are preparing for enlistment, do take some time and pay attention to your girlfriend’s emotion. She could really be missing you so much already, while you are still lost in your own land of catching up with all your friends.

Good luck and well, all the best!

THE Letter

A few days ago, I was heading out for a jog when, on a whim, I decided to check my mailbox. Lo and behold, there sat a turquoise letter from MINDEF, occupying the otherwise vacant box.

Having called MINDEF earlier to check up about my month of enlistment and knowing that my fellow male graduates would probably be receiving theirs around this time too, I had no doubt about what the letter entailed.

From a tender young age, I guess almost all Singaporean boys would start to anticipate their national service call up. In primary school, this prospect seemed so distant, especially to a little boy so wrapped up in his little own bubble and comfort zone that he hadn’t even thought of post-primary education yet. As the years passed, though, the date of enlistment seemed to loom nearer and nearer.

Despite my expectancy for the arrival of the letter (and despite the fact that I knew hundreds of thousands of guys had received identical letters before and that it wasn’t that great a deal), however, actually seeing the letter itself seemed to drive home a fact that I’ve only thought about as a vague concept: that I’m actually, truly, going to be spending two years of my life undergoing training and serving my national service.

Of course, when I first received the letter, there was neither exclamation nor even much fanfare. In fact, receiving the letter seemed so surreal at first that I read it, went “oh ok” silently, and then proceeded to jog and spend the rest of the night as though nothing really significant has happened (which, I guess, is true since the letter is only an official document telling me about something I’ve been expecting for quite a while).

Even now, with the dawning realization that I had above, I don’t seem to have any climatic, dramatic reactions to the whole affair (as I knew some of my friends had). Maybe, faced with such a big direction change in my life, I’ve decided to just accept it and, acting practically for once, start to prepare for it instead of getting all drama-papa or emo-nemo about it (I’m just happy that my enlistment date is exactly what I was hoping for – as soon as possible after my graduation ceremony).

How am I preparing for it? Like I mentioned in my first few posts, I’m just enjoying myself, spending time with close ones, cleaning up my life (and my room) and doing some exercise in the dim hope that I might be able to pass my Napfa test with a silver before the deadline (right now I’m scheduled to go for the 4 weeks PTP) or, even if I still can’t pass, at least ensure that I won’t die of exhaustion within the first few days of enlisting or something.

Well, here’s to a hopefully productive, enjoyable time before I go in and to a hopefully even more productive and enriching time after I’ve gone in. What were your reactions to receiving the letter like? Drop a comment here and let everyone know!

A glimpse of the road ahead

After serving 2 years of NS, where will we NSFs end up? Some will go on studying further in ITE, polytechnics, and universities. Others will immediately start their working life, and perhaps maybe even a few will travel around the world to see the sights before settling down.

As a JC student, I'm like the others in my cohort, aiming to study further in university before working. Or rather, 'play and enjoy life' for a few more years before settling into a routine work life. And what have I done to prepare for university?

To be honest, I've glimpsed through the e-Prep courses, and while some of them interest me, ie, the courses that compromise of a foreign language as well as those that include a hefty bit of computing, they do not necessarily help in my further studies. This is probably due to the fact that I took double math last time, and hence the mathematics courses are really just revision of my JC syllabus, and therefore are not really helpful. Of course, I'll probably take the e-prep courses in French, as well as the computing courses that have a healthy dose of coding. After all, I do aspire to read the entire Arsene Lupin series by Maurice Leblanc, which happens to be written in French, as well as one day set up my own MUD (assuming that there are still players in the future)

So I've decided on an alternative form of e-Prep, which happens to be the MIT Open CourseWare, and of course, looking through Mathematics. I've been spending my free time in camp looking through the website, and so far, have started with Calculus. Since the website only offers lecture notes, assignments and tests, making a trip to the library to pick up reference books pertaining to the currect topic is absolutely essential. This is of course, different from ePrep, as when you register for a course in mathematics, they send you a textbook as well. But I digress.

So far, I've found another double math student who is as crazy as me, and for the past week, been doing the downloadable assignments found on the website. And although it's been over a year since we've seriously did mathematics, our skills doesn't seem to have rusted as much. In fact, we seem to hit on the same method of doing the questions, as well as 'seeing' the solution at the exact same time, give or take a few miliseconds. Scary isn't it? But I'll probably be facing the same kind of people in university, and I better get used to it now. Even a bystander (patiently waiting for us to finish using the computer so he can use it), remarked that we're kinda creepy in the way we do these mathematics problems, coming up with the same relevations.

But hey, it prepares me (or rather us) for university. Even if the subject matter is forgotten (possible, since I'm entering university in 18 months), at least it relieves boredom in camp. And for a tiny, teensy weeny moment, I'm remembered of my JC life, an almost forgotten memory. It's amazing how serving NS can make you forget these moments.......

School Starts

I’ve started going to school again after a really long time – it has been forever since I kept away my stationery. It’s an awesome feeling to be able to be buried in books again; and I have been wanting to more than ever since my National Service ended.

Our paths split. I’m going into Singapore Polytechnic for my further studies, while my platoon mates graduate into the University system. It is true melancholy for me, especially to be on the train with my peers whom rush off to their university classes. I didn’t lose the irony that I’m now in the same institution as my younger brother, along with 4, 000 other 17 year olds who haven’t had a clue about National Service.

Well, Life never fails to spring surprises upon us, so I’ve decided to take things in my stride. As we travel down the Road, exits and flyovers zoom past; we each have a different destination in Life. Where we break apart from the main crowd down an off-ramp, we enter an entirely new road, merging into the lives of a whole new world of friends.

Making friends with people 5 years my junior is actually a whole lot simpler than I initially thought. Put an awkward situation on the first day of school, a bit of willingness to talk, a common interest together, and a little bit of luck, and we have new friends!

It’s mostly that simple, so much so that I begin to wonder why I didn’t try doing that earlier!

Studying in a polytechnic is a lot easier than I thought: there isn’t any strict regimentation to adhere to, the dress code is casual, and the lecturers are really nice people who almost treat us as equals, though on the flip side, having to contemplate on what to wear the next day always gets me in a bind. I only have 7 sets of shirt!

The terrain in Singapore Polytechnic is undulating, which means lots of climbing, and walking between classes. While lifts make inter-level transfers a painless affair, it can be a nightmare for the less-fit to travel between blocks; most of my classes are up on a little hill overlooking the rest of the campus, and some of my classmates are struggling just to scale the stairs. (I took the opportunity to jibe them: “It’s a good chance for you to get ready for NS!”)

Ok, off to work on my assignment now! Having to juggle reservist commitments with my school work is going to be challenging enough without me skiving off! The examinations are just shy of two weeks after my in-camp training!

I’m Like That. So?

We are who we are. But is that it?

I’m sure you’ve been given feedback by people around you on certain traits they find in you that needs a bit of push and improvement. Actually, I’m being pretty kind here by saying feedback. I’m hesitant to use the word “criticised” though I know it will be a much better one to say that We are being criticised!

Have you heard of anything negative about you that was being said, either in front of your face or behind your back? I know I have. How did that feel? Well, it doesn’t take a genius to know that feeling sucked!

We’re all humans. We like and hope to be praised, complimented and recognised for who we are, what we do and what we contribute to the company, to our family and friends, to the society, to the country and to the world.

We are who we are. But is that it?

I’m sure you’ve been given feedback by people around you on certain traits they find in you that needs a bit of push and improvement. Actually, I’m being pretty kind here by saying feedback. I’m hesitant to use the word “criticised” though I know it will be a much better one to say that We are being criticised!

Have you heard of anything negative about you that was being said, either in front of your face or behind your back? I know I have. How did that feel? Well, it doesn’t take a genius to know that those feelings sucked!

We’re all humans. We like and hope to be praised, complimented and recognised for who we are, what we do and what we contribute to the company, to our family and friends, to the society, to the country and to the world.

So when we hear a comment about us that just doesn’t ring very nicely in our ears, we clam up. Our defensive shell automatically comes out and wraps us up, making us feel safe and secure from the attack that is coming at us.

So, in a defensive mode and tone, you respond to the person who criticised you with this “I’m like that. So?”

Now, I know the way we respond very much depends on how the person deliver his message. If he packaged it as form of feedback with a strong sense of encouragement and delivered in a positive tone, then chances of your defensive shield building up will be much lessened.

But we all know that not everyone knows how to apply the art of communication, especially in the area of giving feedback, don’t we?

So in the event that you weren’t so lucky to hear it from such a sweet person, how do you handle that criticism?

You say “I’m like that. So?”

Is there anything wrong by saying this? Technically speaking - no. But non-technically speaking, what do you think you’re missing out by responding in that manner?

If you ask me, I’ll tell you this - you’re missing out on one big opportunity to learn about yourself and most importantly, to discover more ways that will help you to become a better person!

The quality of your life depends on the quality of your reaction and response towards unfavourable situations, including unpleasant criticisms.

The next time such thing happens again, why not test out a different approach by asking yourself these questions:

Are we only capable of doing what we are doing now? Or can we learn to be more loving, more positive, more creative, more patient, better natured, calmer, happier or naughtier?

Can we strive to become smarter, wittier, more street-wise, prettier, more good-looking, fitter, slimmer or healthier?

Can we look forward to earn more money, to be a better negotiator, better trader, better investor or better business man?

Can we choose to be a better spouse, better boyfriend, better girlfriend, better partner or better lover?

I’m very sure most of you will be nodding your head while reading the above. Or you might even go further by saying “Yes” inside your head.

It’s easy to say “Yes” inside your head under the circumstance when you are feeling calm and normal. But I’m sure when you are being criticised, you will be feeling so angry, unjustified, unfair and frustrated to the extent that your veins may be threatening to burst anytime. Now, will you still say “Yes”, or will you secretly tell the person to go to hell?

I know, it’s hard to still open up and allow yourself to be exposed. 

But you know as well as I do that you don’t transform into a better person by just saying “Yes” mentally!

Can we learn, strive, look forward, choose to be better? We can. But does that mean we will? No, until and unless you take action.

Even if we learn how to be more loving, more positive or more creative by taking reading books, attending seminars or taking lessons?

No, you will only be informed.

Why can’t you change? Because it’s too painful, too uncomfortable, too much hassle, too costly or nearly impossible.

Or is it because you don’t want to change? You are resistant to change, which also means you are reluctant to be a better person?

Does change necessarily means better? Well, if the change is not ecological and beneficial, then why change?

But if the change is ecological and beneficial, then why don’t you change?

Outfield Woes

The majority of NSFs that enlist in the army get to experience the joy and thrills of going outfield, firsthand during their BMT sessions, and later on in the units they get posted to, if they are lucky. And why wouldn’t they want to go outfield? I mean, there’s the unbearable heat during the day, the numerous sandfly and mosquito bites, the tekan-ing by the specs and officers, and the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to kiwi extremely mud stained boots black....

Looking at it this way, going outfield kinda sucks, right? Still, it is a once in a lifetime experience, as I don’t really see myself stuck in the jungle in my future life, so I’ll just have to endure it a bit more And truth be told, the outfield experience gets a lot better once after BMT life. There are few (if any) restrictions on what can be brought outfield, within reason of course. Mosquito coils, mopiko, snacks, biscuits, chicken wings and more consist of the myriad of items that are loaded in the NSFs field pack before moving out. And of course, who doesn’t enjoy a casual BBQ outfield with the specs and officers?

Of course, I’m not saying that outfield exercises gets easier after BMT, in fact, it gets harder and worse out there. The perks of going outfield increases though, and that what makes it so much more bearable. For me, I just returned from one of my unit’s outfield exercises, and it is vastly different from the field camp many recruits remember and love back from Tekong. For one, there are more scars and sandfly bites. But two, I’ve enjoyed casual conversation with my specs and officers, as well as snacking on other foods apart from the combat rations (actually, the combat rations have improved since Tekong as well, but that’s another story..) which can never happen back in BMT.

But this doesn’t mean I like to go outfield. After all, I’m heading out there again in a month’s time, and I’m
hoping it will never come......

Gabriel’s Pet Peeves

A few days ago, I was thumbing through a local weekly publication that I’m a big fan of and I came across an article about many different things, presumably Singaporean in nature, that annoy the writers. Many points in the list struck a chord with me, particularly a point about some Singaporeans don’t seem to have any care or discernment of those people around them.

I am of the opinion that, while most Singaporeans are considerate, polite and generally good-natured people, there is just that small group (who are nonetheless way more conspicuous due to the nature of their actions) of black sheep that never fail to irk and disturb those around them (including me, of course). At the risk of sounding unbelievable self-righteous, here’s a list of my pet peeves, the corresponding culprits and what I feel they should be punished with.

***

Defendant #1: The Frontrunners

Charges: Possessed by some inexplicable need to always be first, the Frontrunners are the people who, upon seeing an approaching MRT nearing the station, will quickly run up to the nearest available (or sometimes unavailable) markers (that demarcate where the train doors will be), arrange themselves in front of other people who might have already been standing there for umpteen minutes or right smack in the middle of the part where the alighting commuters are supposed to get off and then proceed to make a grand nuisance of themselves by charging ahead once the train doors open, presumably to secure a seat, regardless of the amount of people trying to squeeze their way out.

For some reason, the Frontrunners are so hardcore that they will proceed with their mad charge even when the approaching train is obviously packed and all the seats are fully occupied.

Sentence if found guilty: This (self-proclaimed) prosecutor feels that sensor systems should be installed at all train doors where, if the Frontrunner attempts to bypass all the alighting passengers, mechanical hands will pop out of the ground and hold them until everyone else has already proceeded before letting them enter the train at the last possible moment.

***

Defendant #2: The Commuting Musicians

Charges: Speaking of commuting, the Commuting Musicians are another bane of the public transport system in Singapore. The CMs, as we’ll call them, are usually (but not always confined to) a group of teenagers who have taken it upon themselves to promote their favourite artists by blasting music (usually some kind of techno nightmare or some angsty emo rock) out loud at the highest possible volume on their handphone, preventing anybody from comfortably reading, chatting, sleeping or even listening to their own music. For some reason, these CMs have decided that their good taste is undoubtedly universal and that, if they broadcast their music at top decibel, their fellow commuters may decide to drop whatever they’re engaging themselves in and start dancing and singing along with unbelievable synchronization a la Bollywood movies.

There also seems to be an unspoken rule that, whenever two or more rival CMs congregate, they shall proceed to have a no holds barred battle of deafening proportions, each generating more music each (and usually, with as much clashing of genres and chaos created as possible) than a club on the weekend.

Sentence if found guilty: Any CM found guilty of causing any sort of public disturbance will be sentenced to have their music-blasting devices confiscated indefinitely and replaced with mp3 players (with only earphone ports and no external speakers) programmed to only contain classical music and unbelievably cheesy and fluffy pop songs (unless CM is a fan of said pop music, whereby they shall be sentenced to a sound of silence).

***

Defendant #3: The Stoppers (Public Transport Edition)

Charges: The last commuting-related offenders (this prosecutor is a frequent user of public transport and is thus its self-proclaimed champion), the Stoppers (who are sometimes CMs and who are usually Frontrunners who have failed in their mission to locate seats) are those passengers who, upon boarding the bus or train and seeing a huge, gaping vacant space in the middle of the bus or carriage, decide that they’re fine where they are presently located (usually a step or two past the entrance and in the most obstructive positions possible) and refuse to move in to fill the space, thereby causing untold amounts of blockage, annoyance and sometimes even preventing others from getting on the transport and/or causing a huge bottleneck to occur at the entrance.

Sometimes, these Stoppers refuse to move in even when there are seats, usually because they are alighting soon and want to secure a space near the exit so they can zoom off to continue their fast paced lives elsewhere. Perhaps they fear that, in the time they take to slowly crawl over to the seats and actually sit down, the bus/train might somehow transcend time and space to reach the next stop in a split second, thereby forcing them to perform a complicated maneuver where they have to snap back up to standing position after seating themselves for only a nanosecond.

Sentence if found guilty: Buses and trains will have a conveyor belt in the middle where passengers will quickly be shuffled to fill up the middle spaces as fast as possible to provide more space for people to enter and squeeze. Stoppers who refuse to budge will be forced to seat and handcuffed to a pole until their turn to alight or until someone comes along who needs the seat, whereby they will be forcibly ejected from the seat to vacate it.

***

Defendant #4: The Stoppers (Public Places Edition)

Charges: Like their spiritual cousins, these Stoppers are also equipped with an infallible sense of when, where and how to cause the most amount of obstruction and irritation possible, placing themselves at the most inopportune places, like the end of escalators, before deciding they need to make that call they forgot about five hours ago, deciding where they actually want to go, talk to their friends right next to them or lecture their children, all of which are actions apparently too taxing on the human body to be able to be done while walking at the same time.

An equally annoying variant of this version of the Stoppers are those people who, despite queuing up for long amounts of time at fast food restaurants, food courts and other eating places, only start to decide on the possibilities of what they might want to eat when they actually reach the counter, possibly because they were too busy stoning out and/or gossiping on the phone before that or because, for some reason, they cannot look at the usually pretty large menus on the walls behind the counter and have to wait till they reach the counter to look at the small menus with miniscule prints to see what food is available (this does not apply to people who genuinely might not understand the dishes listed on the menu or who want to inquire about meal combinations and such; it only applies to those who are too lazy to decide on what they want before they reach the counter).

Sentence if found guilty: Anybody who has queued up for a reasonable amount of time in the queue with a totally visible menu from afar and who, upon reaching the counter, still take many silent awkward moments to decide on what they want to eat will be forcibly removed from the queue and placed right back at the start, where they will now have more time (and hopefully the good sense) to choose what they want.

***

Defendant #5: The Naughty Parents

Charges: The Naughty Parents, or NPs for short, are those who have some issues with parental guide (PG), or lack thereof, of their children in public. These NPs are those who would stand by and ignore their children (or worse, egg them along) when they are stomping about, making a lot of noise and generally being huge nuisances to everyone around them. They are also the ones who insist on bringing their infants to watch artsy movies way beyond their ken (the children, not the parents; although sometimes, it might seem to beyond the latter as well), narrating every single scene to them (and loudly, in most cases) and who don’t do anything when their kids start making noises (usually incomprehensible) in the cinema or start bawling for goodness-knows-what reason.

Admittedly, the children are the nuisances here but this persecutor believes that, at such a young age (the children, not the prosecutor), they might not be able to understand the irritating nature of their actions (thus believing that it’s ok for them to continue what they’re doing) and therefore it falls to the parents to teach their kids what to do in public.

The prosecutor knows that most parents out there are very good with their kids and that parenting is definitely not an easy job, but he is of the belief that, if parents are willing to go through the hassle of bringing their young kids out, then they should also be willing to take on the responsibility of making sure their kids aren’t making fools of themselves in public and also showing very badly on the parents’ abilities.

Sentence if found guilty: Parents found guilty of not bothering about their children being nuisances will be slapped with a fine (and also spanked on the buttocks) and sent for parenting classes as well as kindergarten classes (possibly along with their children) on good manners and basic social etiquette.

***

So there you have it, Gabriel’s top few pet peeves stemming from the inconsideration of Singaporeans. Of course, as stated above, I know that most Singaporeans are considerate and well-mannered and that sometimes people, including myself, might unintentionally be a cause of disturbance and/or obstruction to those around them. This list only refers to those who commit their “crimes” knowingly and intentionally.

Anyone have your own pet peeves to add, feel free to drop a comment here!

Please keep in mind that all views expressed here are of the writer’s own opinion (which others might not agree with) and are not meant to be offensive to or a personal attack on any reader. All writing is to be assumed to have a certain amount of bias as well as (in the part of the charges and the sentences) a certain amount of exaggeration. Not much, though.

Leaving the force… it grasps at you

The numbers taunt and jeer at you. Oh yes, it definitely is really hard, those last 100 days or so left in your national service. That happens to all of us, regardless of whether we had a great time, or was slogging through life as if it were The Death Sentence.

I, for one, was pretty lucky to be the last few who could hoard our leaves and off-days into a mountainous heap (though in the same vein, I was the unlucky last few to have to do 2 years and 4 months!), so I was mostly wasting time away at home during the double-digit count-down. Even so, the wait is tortuous, especially when you can’t go out to work due to restrictions on working during full-time National Service.

Then, the day finally dawns. The sun seems to shower a sweet golden hue, as if celebrating your last day in full-time servitude. Even the trains seem to run faster than usual. The final bus ride to the camp is unusually empty. As you alight from the bus, you take a cheerful wave to the Regimental Police guarding the camp gates.

“Hey guys, it is MY day today!”

Just when you reach the manpower office to get your long lost pink companion, your chief clerk brutally slashes into your world with a simple, “No clearance, no IC.” As your world spins into chaos, you think: perhaps I should have used those 99 days to do my clearance?

The truth is, clearing yourself for ORD is not a hard task when you are armed with correct information on your obligations in your final days. So here’s what my platoon mates and I did to ensure a smooth reunion with our identity cards:

>150 days before clearing leave:

• Check and confirm with superior on your replacement.
Your understudy takes time to learn the ropes of your job, so pestering your boss earlier on for your replacement prevents all that headaches and deadlines when your work is properly handed over to your junior.

• Check with Manpower branch on existing unit leave policies, leave balance, and clearance requirements for ORD.

• Check with superior on any outstanding unperformed punishment duties, and schedule to complete them before your leave. Try your best not to accumulate more.

120 days before clearing leave:

• Understudy should have arrived by now. If not, continue to bug your superior on getting a replacement. Stress to him that you need time to train your junior to properly take over your work

• Plan your leave forecast, aim to complete outstanding duties by day 80.

• MyORD should be open for you by now. Read and complete everything. Print our MyORD completion certificate

50 days before clearing leave:

• Get leave forecast approved, and apply for your leave

• Book medical and dental Fit For Instruction appointment (usually with Manpower branch)

• Start handing over workload to your understudy, and let him handle progressively more projects

30 days before clearing leave:

• Obtain clearance for as many items in the checklist as possible. Sometimes, the people in charge might not be in camp, so it is safer to get their signatures as soon as possible.

• Start packing non-essential items, and bringing them home during book-out.

• Complete all extra duties, and inform superior of your leave clearance date.

• Return all store equipment, and get company quartermaster to sign in your clearance.

• Hand-over of all your work to your understudy

• Go for your dental and medical Fit For Instructions

1 day before clearing leave:

• Farewell party with the guys remaining in the camp

• Start clearing your leave

(If your clearance sheet isn’t filled out by then):

• Find out from your camp as to when the people in charge would be available, and make a trip back to camp to get their signatures. I know it’ll burn at least half a day of leave for this, but if you want a fast get-away on ORD date, this is the thing to do.

ORD date:

• Bring FFI documentations, MyORD completion certificate and clearance form to unit, exchange for pink IC.

• Get Certificate of Service (green certificate)

• Optionally treat your office/platoon to lunch (if you are stingy, make that at the cookhouse)

• Say last good-byes to superiors, and find yourself a free man outside the camp gates.

That said, there are so many contingent situations that can pop up to mess up this pristine plan, this should be treated as a rough guide. Don’t fret too much if the procedures deviate from what I have here, because I am writing from my own experiences.

Knowledge is power, and getting to know about the procedures would make your ORD that much less a clingy experience.

Do Itashimashite!

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that the bloggers on this site are from pretty diverse walks of life and our entries are pretty testament to that fact. While I might not be very well versed in philosophy nor have the ability to wax insightful lyrical (I’ll leave the cheem (deep) stuff to my fellow bloggers who do it much better), I’ll try to bring something different for all you readers out there to enjoy.

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that the bloggers on this site are from pretty diverse walks of life and our entries are pretty testament to that fact. While I might not be very well versed in philosophy nor have the ability to wax insightful lyrical (I’ll leave the cheem (deep) stuff to my fellow bloggers who do it much better), I’ll try to bring something different for all you readers out there to enjoy.


Like any teenager (yes, at a grand ol’ 19, I still fervently stake my claim to be almost adolescent), life (that is, life that doesn’t revolve around school work) revolves heavily around entertainment of the most frivolous, superficial sort so, over the course of the next few months, I’ll try to bring to your attention whatever movie, restaurant (keeping to mind budgetary constraints, of course), book or game etc. that I find particularly note worthy. (I share your sentiments on life...and I am freaking 26, I am STILL a teenager, I DON’T care what you say! - Ed)

First on the list, a certain value-for-money food joint to check out on your free days.

Japanese food has been quite popular in Singapore, with restaurant chains popping up like those bubble tea outlets many years back. Of course, while many have taken to the uniqueness of the ingredients and novelty of the dish combinations, an equal many have been taken back by the relatively steep pricing, comparatively quite high even at the fast food and cheaper franchises.

That said, though, it doesn’t mean that tasty (and filling) Japanese meals can’t be enjoyed for a decent price.

Last night, I headed down to the newly furbished IMM with some friends (the range of shops there now can rival any big-time malls around the island) and, on impulse, we headed to Ajisen Ramen for dinner.

After waiting quite a long time to be seated and placing our orders, we were quite surprised to be served with huge portions of food. The extra value set that I ordered, in particular, was packed with…well…extra value.

I ordered a ton-toro ramen (which is very thinly sliced pork served with a huge serving of ramen) and, for a few dollars extra, it came with a drink, a serving of soft shell crab, some pieces of fried fish and a few slices of salmon sashimi.

The ramen was really filling and, while tasting decidedly un-Japanese (it had a distinctly Chinese feel to it), it was pretty tasty, with the slices of pork a tasty compliment, thin enough to not be jelak but still harbouring a pretty strong taste.

What was really pleasing, though, were the side dishes that came with the set. For an additional S$7.80 (the ramen itself costs around $10 a la carte), I got to savour crispy and crunchy pieces of soft shell crab (I counted an astounding four pieces before I lost control and gobbled them down), pieces of fried fish (not for those abstaining from oil, though) and a surprisingly fresh and generous finisher of three salmon slices.

Although the final price of $19 (including all the extra charges and taxes) isn’t the most wallet friendly one around, the meal was definitely a bang for the buck, both filling (my stomach was so heavy I think I got a back ache from walking around too much after the meal) and forgiving on the taste buds. Plus, for a restaurant, it’s not that expensive right? Definitely a viable option the next time you crave some authentic (well, semi) Japanese restauranting but are sick of the usual conveyor belts. 

10 Tips To Getting The Girl, When You Are Serving NS

I know, it can be hard. Especially when you finally laid eyes on this cutie pie and is feeling all excited over her and reeling in anticipation on how you can date her out, you have to report to camp by 2359 hours every Sunday night. What a big spoilsport isn’t it! You have just begun dreaming of holding her soft tender hands walking down the long Orchard Road, sharing a cone of ice-cream after watching that oh-so-romantic movie “Music and Lyrics”.

I know, it can be hard. Especially when you finally laid eyes on this cutie pie and is feeling all excited over her and reeling in anticipation on how you can date her out, you have to report to camp by 2359 hours every Sunday night.

What a big spoilsport isn’t it! You have just begun dreaming of holding her soft tender hands walking down the long Orchard Road, sharing a cone of ice-cream after watching that oh-so-romantic movie “Music and Lyrics”.

Fret not. As a Love Coach, I have encountered several cases of NS men so anxious that the girl of their dreams will no longer be available the next time they get to book out of camp. Why not I give you 10 easy tips to get that sweet young thing, even when you are strapped in camp, physically?

10 Tips To Getting The Girl, When You Are Serving NS

1. Get her number.
Of course! What do you think you can do if you don’t even have her number? I mean mobile phone number, not hostel or home. Since you can’t wait at her lobby during weekdays, telephone is the only source of communication.

2. Be funny.
That’s right. Tickle her humour cells as much as you can. That will bring her much closer to you, even when physically you are far apart.

3. Give her a surprise delivery.
Who says you are can’t do that when the army has you all to them from Mondays to Fridays? Don’t you know there’s a resource call pre-order, or friends?

4. DIY!
DIY (Do-It-Yourself) works for girls of all ages. Especially when you are tied up for time, it makes the handicraft all the more precious. I once had a handmade card from my ex-boyfriend, which warmed my heart entirely. That warmth lasted for a long, long time. See the power of DIY?

5. Sing a song of sixpence…
MMS is so prevalent and affordable now. Why not flirt and send some funny cute faces with your heart-warming messages now? Secure your next date with her at the same time!

6. Flirt, like nobody’s business.
The best tool you can use is through SMS. Also, do not start chickening out when you date her that weekend.

7. Energise!
I know, you can be pretty lethargic when you book out on Saturday. In that case, go home and catch some forty winks, freshen up before you meet her. You want to be a bundle of joy around her, not a slumbering pig who has a bucketful load of complaints towards our nation’s army and 10 hours of sleep in credit.

8. Value added service.
Ask her if she needs any help on anything and offer it whenever you can. It shows how much you value her that you’re willing to do things for her when you could have catch up with your sleep instead.

9. Compliments.
Forget that exaggerated highly buttered-up flattery. Go for sincere, short and sweet compliments whenever you see her. 

10. If you miss her… tell her!
If she is fond of you too, then she will enjoy this sweet feeling knowing some guy out there is thinking of her, even while he is wiping his rifle and nodding away at the same time.

11. It’s not just you.
Thought I’d add in one more. Not exactly a tip, but it’s more of a word of advice for you guys. If you are worried that you are losing out in the competition for the same girl, I don’t think there is a need for excessive worry. Chances are the other guys are serving NS as well, unless the girl has already started working and you find yourself up against those men in shirts and ties. In any case, if you allow yourself to be too desperate, that girl will know, and trust me, you don’t want to look that desperate in front of her. It makes you tense as well, when what you need to be is as relaxed and comfortable as you can around her. Dating should be fun, enjoy it! 

Death By MSG

I’m sure there are people, not just those in the SAF, who are a bit unhappy about their working life. They toil hard, give a bit extra, perhaps even help other’s do their work. However, they feel they are not appreciated. As a clerk in the SAF, I sometimes feel this way too. Sure, I work late nights; perhaps even to finish other clerks’ jobs for them. However, right about now, I just had a stunning revelation.

I’m sure there are people, not just those in the SAF, who are a bit unhappy about their working life. They toil hard, give a bit extra, perhaps even help other’s do their work. However, they feel they are not appreciated.

As a clerk in the SAF, I sometimes feel this way too. Sure, I work late nights; perhaps even to finish other clerks’ jobs for them.

However, right about now, I just had a stunning revelation.

Yes, it was another late day in the office.

A pile of work to do, but this time, with a difference.

I was surprised by a signaler who came down, saw me working, and asked “Hey, do you want any instant noodles? You have a choice of mushroom, chicken or vegetarian.”

Being an eternal cheapskate, and hoping for once the instant noodles were better than dinner, as well as hoping that this wasn’t a joke, I went ahead and asked for a cup of instant noodles. And to my surprise, it came 5 minutes later, at a perfect temperature to eat.

Wow.

I was immediately thinking, “Cool, this signaller is great. What can I do for him in return? Ask CSM to relocate him to COS duty so he doesn’t need to spend even more duty at the guardhouse? Volunteer his name for more activities / courses that occur in camp so he has a chance to encounter the 3G experience?”

And at the back of my mind, “Hmm, since he has an unlimited supply of instant noodles, why not ask him to make you one cup every night?”

And then the revelation struck. I was no different than those who give others their jobs to finish, and no different from those who don’t show any appreciation.

After all, helping others complete their tasks is ok on the first time, as it’s something new. In fact, it can even be an enriching experience. Hell, you learn more about the SAF.

But it’s not so funny the second time, even less so the third time.

And you start to wonder, “Should I get paid more for this?”

Compare this to the instant noodles. The first time, it’s a guy working late in the office. You have extra cups, you give one to him. The darn things are cluttering up your cabinet anyway.

After the second time, or maybe even the third time you start to wonder, “Hey, am I a slave or what? He’s eating up my supply. If I make him more instant noodles, should I get paid for the noodles?”

And of course, there’s this concept about appreciation.

Ok, so this guy works hard, I shall make sure the office is free of people at night so he can continue working in peace.

Or others may think, “Hmm, he’s very efficient at doing work. From now on, all my difficult and impossible to complete tasks shall be assigned to him, because he’s the only one that can finish them with perfection.”

Then the poor sod will begin to wail, “Huh? Why am I getting more and more work?!”

Switching back to the instant noodles, I can just imagine the future.

“Dammit, why am I doing this COS (company orderly sergeant) duty? Sign so many extras for raising flag the wrong way! At least if I were standing like a dodo during guard duty I can avoid these extras.”

“Why am I out of camp so many times for these courses? I would rather slack back inside. What did I do to deserve this?”

To wrap this up; doing more work “IS” beneficial to the person you’re doing it for, but only in the short run. In the long run, he’ll forget what it is he’s supposed to do, thus it’s bad for him (especially when you’re not around), and bad for you (more and more work).

For the instant noodles, in the short run, you’re filled up and happy.

In the long run, your health will suffer as there is too much MSG!

And for the person offering the instant noodles, he will surely go, “Drat. I regret the day I offered instant noodles. As is signing extra for messing up the COS duty is not enough. Now I gotta buy extra food.

The solution?

Come to a compromise that both would agree to.

“Hey, for the instant noodles, I’ll pay you the cost price an additional $1.00 per week for the service.” This should go down much better than COS duties or out of camp courses.”

Of course, too much of a good thing is bad. So instead of the above, perhaps I shall vow this. I will tell others, “No, I shall not do your work! After all, you may die of too much MSG!

“Ooops, I mean, you will not know what is it you are supposed to do! And you may then spend nights in the office figuring it out again, and then die of too much MSG!”

Bwahahahahahaha!

woooo... the sausage looks goood!

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