Mindlessly Ingenious

I fervently wish that my television can do all these!

A Singaporean phenomenon

Amoy Street Hawker Centre – situated within the furious hive of activity in the business district, and the centre of a very queer phenomenon: during the lunch-time rush hour, empty tables with tissue-papers dot the entire food centre.

“Isn’t that strange?” I asked myself.

From where I stood under the hot sun, it looked like a marketing stunt enticing me to sit down at one of the tables, and wipe off my sweat with the packets of tissue. Goodness, some of these are still virgin! Fresh, unopened packets waiting for my sweaty hands to open and use.

Unfortunately, I know better.

If you stand around for a bit longer, you’ll start to notice the armies of men in their rolled-up shirts, and ladies in their best power suits on the prowl, tissue papers in hand. Why don’t they just sit at those unoccupied tables with tissue papers, you may ask?

It is by no means a reasonable question, even if it seems ignorant when we take into account the local culture. If you do ever get taken in by the seemingly welcome vibes given off by those tissue-papered tables, you’ll soon feel otherwise. Especially when those stabbing eyes prick you from behind right before you even hear the irritated lady exclaim, “OOI! This seat I chope liao! Don’t you know Singapore culture?”

Well, it’s a culture you find in Singapore, but attributing this to be a Singaporean trait is quite an offensive abuse of our culture. Even if, as a small country we’ve had less than 50 years of our unique customs so far, I wouldn’t go so anywhere remotely near admitting this into the same ranks alongside our rich Nonya culture, or even Singlish.

What’s with placing tissue papers on tables anyway? Telling others to back off because the seat is reserved while everybody’s away? How would the next party even know that it’s a real reservation rather than a coincidence at a table which had really been abandoned by the previous users?

This not only an issue of practicality we’re talking about here. Tourists are going to get a rude shock when the feisty auntie returns with her steaming bowls of noodles. And god forbid if somebody decides to even use that packet of tissue!

Before the hot and bothered proponents write in to the comments and defend the practice as a “Singaporean thing”, let me first say that conventions are what allows people to act and work without having to read a bloody stack of documentation on social behavior. Imagine going to a foreign country where all female toilets are painted blue. Now, imagine that you’ve just touched down at the airport, and need the toilet urgently for your diarrhea. Next, imagine yourself sitting in the local incarceration centre for the rest of your vacation after you barge into the Ladies.

Not a nice experience, right?

A fellow Singaporean commented in a letter to Today on the prevalent practice. Rick Lim states that he would throw away any tissue packets left on an empty table. I wouldn’t go as far as him, but I won’t hesitate to sit down at the table, argument with the feisty office lady be it! As a Singaporean, I put my foot down and state categorically that “tissue chope-ing” at our food centres do not qualify as a Singaporean culture. I strongly encourage you to do the same. The courteous way to reserve a seat is to place somebody there to tell others that nicely. It’s what is being done everywhere else, and I don’t see why it should be an exception in Singapore.

Argentina sails pass Venezuela

Diego Maradona, the world’s best ever football player, was in charged of one of the top footballing nations… Argentina was playing against Venezuela in the World Cup Qualifying match last night and it was Maradona’s first competitive match as the nation’s manager.

Diego Maradona

Lionel Messi and Carlos Tevez were stars in the match. Argentina destroyed Venezuela 4-0, and the first goal by Messi was one of the best goal I’ve ever seen. Perfect team play allowed Messi to finish excellently. A top class one-two between Messi and Tevez saw Argentina slowly but surely becoming back to the power house of football. Maradona’s appointment is correct after all.

Watch the highlights below… you will not regret it…

AIG to Tata

Manchester United‘s sponsorship with AIG will definately come to an end as the finance company have decided not to continue their contract with the Red Devils in 2010. The United workers are working hard to find another sponsor for the world’s most famous football team, and they have come up with the following…

Tata Group

Tata Group.. the company that brought the world the “cheapest” car. Nano, boosts the world’s cheaper mobile car, is made in India. Can’t wait to see world footballer of the Cristiano Ronaldo standing next to this car after his Ferrari crash.. and maybe the Indians can prove a point.. well.. this logo might be on United jerseys soon…

Cooking lu dan

The Easter holiday stretches five weeks in which students at Warwick University go travelling around the continent, bury themselves in books, or catch up on sleep. As for me, I relax by cooking up a storm in my wok.

Today, I am going to re-create a new dish based on my lu dan recipe. Lu dan, with pork belly, xiang gu (Chinese mushrooms), and tau pok, stir fried and braised with wu xiang (Chinese five spices).

In Britain though, buying all these ingredients isn’t easy. Eggs are easy enough, but for pork belly, streaky rashers are substituted instead.

Tau pok is easy, that is just brown tofu, but chinese mushrooms are much harder to find (They are not button mushrooms!), but eventually, they were ferreted out in a corner of the supermarket.

For the wu xiang (five spices), it took a bit of hunting, and instead of purchasing it in powder form, I decided to just get each individual spice.

Cardamom pods, cloves, cinnamon sticks, star anises, as well as ginger.

Coming back home from the supermarket, I started marinating the meat, with two tablespoons of dark soy sauce, two tablespoons of light soy sauce, two tablespoons of seasoning sauce, and pepper as the marinade.

Everything is almost prepared for dinner, and all that is left to do is to wait for the pork to be fully marinated.

As cooking by oneself isn’t fun at all, and facing such a daunting task, I asked my Singaporean neighbour over to help cook as well. Cooking with others is much more fun than cooking alone, and even then, cooking such a (Singaporean) dish together brings back memories of home.

Here are the steps that we took to create dinner.

1) Hard boil eggs, and remove shell
2) Chop up a bulb of garlic
3) Slice at least 5 slices of ginger, skinned
4) Put oil in pan, and put in ginger, garlic, spices (5 cardamon pods, 3 star anises, 5 cloves, and 2 cinnamon sticks) in and stirfry
5) Put in a few teaspoons of sugar
6) Wait for sugar to melt
7) Add in the marinated pork and mushrooms stirfry for 5 minutes
8) Transfer contents of pan into pot of water
9) Add in the tau pok
10) Add water to just cover all the ingredients in the pot
11) Add in the eggs
12) Bring the pot to a boil for about 5 minutes
13) Simmer on medium heat for at least an hour
14) Serve with rice

The result?

And a close up.

While the sauce wasn’t as thick as expected, nor as dark, letting the dish look more like bak kut teh, it tastes just as good as the lu dan back in Singapore.

I’d give it an A for effort put in, and A* for taste. And being typical Singaporeans, we finished up every little bit of food left :D

A wonderful dinner, and I wonder (no pun intended) what will come up next? That shall be entirely up to me and my entirely inventive mind, but I have only three weeks of Easter left to do so..before everyone comes back from their holidays, and it is then back to work.

If You Can’t Tell A Mouse From A Rat…

The next time when you see a rodent and you instantly assume it’s a mouse, you should start to smell a rat.

If you’re confused, A Tale of Despereaux will sort it out for you. No two mice, er, ways about it! 

Despereaux (Matthew Broderick) the mouse is really, really cute. So cute that you have to find it cute - not ugly but adorable but cute and adorable - regardless of your race, language or religion.

I got so impressed by this little hero’s “chivalry, bravery and honour” that I had to pepper in some nuggets of patriotism as a hint of my nationalistic sentiment. (You mean you haven’t realised I cited a phrase from our national pledge?!)

The tale begins with the rat, a gourmet lover.

“Every place has something special and in Dor, it’s ‘the soup’,” says Roscuro (Dustin Hoffman) the rat, quoting what the seaman Pietro told him earlier.

As fate has it, this feverish love for the soup in the Kingdom of Dor literally scares its Queen to death. Totally grief-stricken, the King outlaws anything related to soup, and rats, in his empire.

Towards the middle of the film my interest started waning. Even so, there is no doubt that some powerful lessons can be drawn from this movie, ratty or not regardless.

The reason that turns Despereaux into an outcast in his own Mouseworld is the exact same one that I find admirable. He has a unique identity. He dares.

His courage to not conform to society’s rules – to cower, to be fearful, and to kowtow to authority – climaxes when he actually tells Princess Pea (Emma Watson), “I’m a gentleman”. By what? “By a code of honour,” he replies in a gentlemanly manner, complete with a bow.

A mouse that sees himself as a gentleman speaks so much more than a human who sees himself like a mouse.

Roscuro’s succumbing to hatred also mirrors the way men give in to their streak of weakness. Actions thus born out of that momentary foolishness eventually lead to guilt and regret. This struggle of vengeance versus forgiveness reaches a blissful outcome when Roscuro changes his heart, again, and joins Despereaux in saving the princess at the eleventh hour.

Then, there’s this glimmer of hope that is nicely sprinkled in various parts of the movie.

For example, the princess’ hopes to regain what were lost – soup, sun and rain – are cast side by side with a pig farm girl’s hope to be, well, a princess. 

In fact, every girl is a princess, at least in her father’s eyes.

Miggery Sow (Tracey Ullman), the jailer Gregory’s daughter’s quest to be a princess reveals one more side of the human nature – pursuit of fame and materialism; yet, when it comes to what really matters, love still conquers all.

Movie wise, the images, sound effects and the animation are laudable and add a bit more punch to the otherwise slow-moving storyline.

This is truly an animation for children. The messages which wrap around positive values like courage, self-esteem, love, honour and morals are spelt out clearly and explicitly by a narrator and the wholesome dialogues.

And if you can’t get enough of Despereaux, read the book. In the words of the many who have read it: the book is simply fantastic and the author DeCamillo has done a superb job.

I have more than an inkling that might well be very true.

Who’s the girl?

The ancient Taoist philosopher Chuang Chou once dreamt he was a butterfly. He says: “I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chuang Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. Between a man and a butterfly there is necessarily a distinction.”

But between a human and a humanoid, it’s a matter of time before the distinction is erased. Scientists in Japan have produced a pretty, dark-haired creature (picture: the one on the right), who could walk, bow, and talk.

Her name is HRP-4C, a product of the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology. Unlike the average Japanese girl, HRP-4C has 30 motors in her body. The 158cm tall Cybernetic Human will be “employed” in amusement parks or as an exercise teacher, where her main job is to look pretty.

Given the fertile Japanese imagination, who knows where else HRP-4C may end up?

A quarterpounder a day may kill you

Colorectal cancer is the top cancer in Singapore today, with about 1,400 patients diagnosed each year, says the Singapore Cancer Society.

Even scarier is the fact that if you eat a quarter-pound hamburger every day for 10 years, you are very likely to die from cancer or heart disease.

This is the latest finding from a 10-year research that tracked the eating habits of 500,000 men and women in the United States.

It was found that eating the equivalent of a quarter-pound hamburger daily gave the men in the study a 22 percent higher risk of dying of cancer and a 27 percent higher risk of dying of heart disease. That is compared with those who ate just 5 ounces per week.

Women who ate large amounts of red meat had a 20 percent higher risk of dying of cancer and a 50 percent higher risk of dying of heart disease than women who ate less.

People whose diets contained more white meat like chicken and fish had lower risks of death.

The researchers surveyed more than 545,000 people, ages 50 to 71 years old, on their eating habits, then followed them for 10 years. There were more than 70,000 deaths during that time.

Study subjects were recruited from AARP (American Association of Retired Persons), a nonprofit membership organisation that helps people 50 and older, improve the quality of their lives. It has 40 million members in the US.

The study was published in the US journal Archives of Internal Medicine.

The researchers said the findings meant that 11 percent of deaths in men, and 16 percent of deaths in women could be prevented if no one ate more than 9.8g of red meat per 1,000 calories of food each day.

Cancer expert Professor Ian Olver of Australia said there was no need to avoid red meat. He explained that the people who ate the most red meat also smoked more and were more obese—both factors that could also have contributed to the higher death rates.

He advised that it might be better to slow-cook meat rather than barbecue it, in terms of the risks.

“You can have some red meat in your diet, but make sure you have fresh fruit, vegetables and white meat, and that you are not eating red meat all the time,” adds Professor Olver, chief executive of the Australian Cancer Council.

Lower meat consumption has been linked to reductions in risk factors for heart disease, including lower cholesterol levels and blood pressure.

Live long, live well, and stay away from red meat!

Cooking at University

Cooking is an essential skill which many university students (overseas or otherwise) acquire during campus days. There are those who have learnt to cook before entering university, but most students enter without knowing a single recipe.

Some students discover soon enough that they have a natural flair for cooking, and they thrive in the kitchens of the university. Others find that what they produced are literally recipes for disaster, and ended up making something like this:

In that case, instead of waiting for that to happen naturally, they could just purchase these items below.



An aspiring chef should consider two fundamental things, the ability to cook simple dishes, and how to store them properly so they do not get spoiled.

The first is easy. With enough heat, anything can be cooked. The trick is to learn what can be cooked, and how much heat it needs.

In Britain, most students start their trial by fire (especially those that end up setting off the fire alarms due to burnt food) by learning to cook pasta.

What can be dumber than cooking pasta? you ask.
Add pasta to boiling water, wait till it is cooked, and voila, there’s your pasta meal. If you feel adventurous, make your own sauce. Beat a few eggs together, add in cream of chicken soup, and some onion and garlic. Mix everything together, and you get something like this.

Any extra can be stored in Tupperwares, and put in the fridge for future consumption. But living life like this is rather bland (pun intended); having the same food every day gets boring. So the more advanced chef can start Googling for recipes, or follow a book like this.

Pretend that you’re taking Chemistry back in school again, and follow the instructions in the book (or online if you find them). It’s that easy. The trick is never to be afraid to get your hands dirty.

I have also heard that the quality of food depends on how you are feeling at that time. If you are happy, your food tastes good. If you are unhappy or angry, the food tastes terrible.  Thankfully for me, my food has never tasted terrible so far, so I guess I am perpetually in a happy mood when cooking :D


The things I’ve prepared at Uni ranges from dumplings,

to Lu Dan (Soy eggs),

to Cheese Mushrooms (better than restaurant style, especially with garlic and onion stuffings).

In fact, some times, I also try to experiment and create french fries (together with sauteed potatoes), like this.

I’ve definitely created a diverse range of food, eastern to western, but I think I still have a lot to learn before I award myself the title of “master chef”.

Take a chance with love

“I take that as a hopeful sign,” Harvey says as Kate rejects an incoming call on her mobile. “If only you can give me a wider smile…” he continues teasing her. 

Kate (Emma Thompson) breaks out into a wider smile.

That is a scene where the despondent Harvey Shine (Dustin Hoffman) meets Kate Walker, who is finding solace in her own company and a book, for the second time in a bar at the airport in the film Last Chance Harvey. 

Harvey tries to spin off a conversation between them while Kate seems only interested in finishing her novel and not to have anything to do with this stranger. But as the minutes ticked, Harvey’s attempts slowly paid off: All because of one simple technique, since Shakespeare’s days, and still an effective way to make friends and build relationships – flirting with words.

Not only did he used his words cleverly to melt away any hostility that Kate feels, Harvey also manages to shift her mood into a more relaxed state, as opposed to the grim look she wore before he came.

Yes, I was hooked on to the dialogue in this movie.

The dialogue helps immensely in the smooth gradations of the feelings from slight dislike to comfort to eventually the kind of deep longing for someone between the two lead characters.

For example, how Harvey surprises Kate by saying, “You mean instead of me walking you to class, carry your books?” when she’s expecting him to go on his way at the subway station. 

In another instance, Kate, learning that Harvey’s estranged daughter’s wedding reception – for which he was there in London—is still on, eggs Harvey to go. “You have to go, she’s your daughter!”

“You come with me?”

“I can’t go to a wedding reception in green polyester?”

“You trying to get me to buy you a new dress, is that it?”

“No, no, no!”

Joel Hopkins expertly directs the movie in a way that it shows the intricacies of the feelings and emotions of two middle-aged people—a man and woman—feeling lonely and hopeless in their own lives and how this encounter may really be their last chance at happiness.

But, when one is so used to being in the shadow and to deem oneself as a failure in life, how does one get out of the rut? 

Kate touches me when she says to Harvey, in between tears, “I’ve been so used to getting disappointed, and I’m angry at you for taking this away from me.”

I’ve seen this many times, of people who are afraid of receiving love and happiness in their lives, who don’t believe that they too deserve to be happy like everyone else.

Fortunately, Kate did take a leap of faith.

“Shall we walk?” she asks.

Harvey nods her head, and both of them continue their long stroll under the twilight.

I like this movie, really! 

P.S. The actual dialogue in the movie may differ slightly from what is produced here, as they are mostly from what I remembered, and some came from the trailer clips.

Influencing the course and destiny of this little island

Singapore seems a pressure cooker place to live in.

Each day, when I walk to the train station, I find myself surrounded by power-suited business men and women. They march fast and grimly fight their way into the train.

Tension is palpable in the air. It is as if everybody is preparing for war. And they could well have been like soldiers being delivered to the front-lines. Men in ironed shirts stride off the trains with set jaws. They’re probably fighting off the threat of layoffs that have been spreading through the country like a rampant virus infection –every single day at work might be their last, for the pink slip comes sudden and swift.

I tighten my grip on my laptop. In my wallet is the only protection I have from the troubles of the world out there. A student pass, acting like a permission slip to be guileful. Yet I taste the bitter-sweet irony in my mouth. As a student who has been through National Service, I’ve seen a miniaturised ecosystem of our local economy within the Army. The encapsulation of the iron rice bowl hasn’t kept the army regulars from being affected by the tsunami sweeping through the financial markets.

Everybody is affected. It is the reality of living in a world of interlinked economies. When other countries sneeze, Singapore gets a terrible chill. We are on a roller-coaster ride, but the darkness of the seemingly runaway train brings out uncertainty and fear within our hearts.

Governments around the world have reacted furiously to the financial crisis, pumping millions, billions, then trillions of cash into frozen credit markets to get things flowing again, and bailing out sinking Titanics to prevent the collapse of the capitalist economy as we know it. The speed of their actions have not only impressed upon the world the gravity of the situation we’re in, but also the fact that we, as a global society, are still groping around, experimenting with new things, breaking new grounds. Occasionally, things break, and it becomes a task for all of us to make sense of it all.

Are we prepared to take control of our destiny?

In many small ways, we are. Doing our best in what we are doing. At work, at school, at home, we exert our influences in our circle in order to improve the quality of our lives, as well as those of the people around us. Friends and family members help tide one other over difficult times. But are we doing enough as a cohesive society? Many of us don’t leave much of an imprint on the lives of strangers.

Perhaps we could donate more to charity, do volunteer work regularly.

Write a letter to the newspaper on burning issues; standing up to those who bully the weak; do courteous acts wherever, whenever we can. The petite things of life add up to influence the course and destiny of this little island.

Smile! G20 Finance Ministers prepare for a group photograph in Horsham, West Sussex, on March 14, 2009. as they meet to talk and try to solve the ongoing global economic crisis.—AFP Photo

Bang for the buck at Happy Pay Steamboat

Y’know, despite that Korean steamboat/BBQ I touted last week, I’ve never been a fan of steamboats. I don’t like to cook for myself and I hate it when the fumes and the smells get into the folds of my clothes. Still, such was the sterling reputation of the steamboat restaurants along the Beach Road stretch that, when I got invited by my friend to one of them, I trudged along.

While the dining experience might not have converted me to a steamboat fan for life, it was not too bad and proved pretty worth the money.

Located on Tan Quee Lan Street (which is one of those addresses I’ve never heard of), the first thing you’d notice about Happy Pay Steamboat & Chef is the large board adorning the shopfront containing photos of different celebs like Felicia Chin and Jeff Wang dining there.

Heading in, the decor is unassuming, telling you that this is definitely not a fine dining restaurant. The aircon doesn’t seem to be all that cold, the interior looks largely unfurbished, the ambience is that of a coffeeshop steamboat and, probably due to the open doors and heat, there is the occasional fly hanging around the ingredients.

Still, the place is not unhygienic (although for the price you’d pay for, you can’t really ask for that much), the neighbourhood hawker ambience might actually add to the heartland appeal and the service here is excellent. We reached the place around 10.15pm and, wanting to wait for 10.30pm when the cheaper late night pricing starts, we were ushered in with a firm promise that we would get the discount anyway.

The range of ingredients was decent, ranging from the usual meats to seafood (including huge slabs of crab) to vegetables and even a home-cooked bee hoon which was pretty tasty in itself. Selection seemed to be the keyword, since everything came in multiple variants. There were about six different types of cockles (or cockle-like shells), four different soup bases for choice and even the condiment counter was varied, with an intimidating amount of sauces and powder for you to concoct your perfect steamboat sauce.

The food quality wasn’t shabby neither. The beef was thinly sliced and similar to those you’d get in expensive hotel steamboats. The taupoks (beancurd puffs? I have no idea what they’re called in English) were succulent and smooth and the pork, of which I’m usually not a fan, was so fantastically thin and delicious that I had more pork pieces than anything else the whole night.

All in all, it was a pretty good experience. And contrary to reviews I have read, the place was quite vacant by the time I was done so there were plenty of space. While the restaurant isn’t like some culinary heaven, it definitely beats having to set up a steamboat at home (what with all the cleaning up to do) and, for its price (each of us paid around $15, inclusive of a free flow of lemon tea/lipton tea), was definitely a bang for the buck.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

UEFA Champions League QF Draw!

The news just in… worldwide…

Manchester United are favorites to win the Champions League! Bookmakers have made it clear that United are 2/1 to win the cup. A daring but understandable odd. Barcelona are second favorites with an odd of 5/2. Barcelona and United were locked favorites before the draw, now it seems that the Spanish leaders will have a tougher route than the English Champions.
FC Porto, Manchester United’s opponents in the quarter finals, are now 50/1, making them the least and most unlikely team to hold the cup.

Villareal, semi finalist in 2005, will meet Arsenal in the first quarter final game. This will be the least talked about game.

Liverpool drew Chelsea yet again and means Rafa Benitez’s 2005 champions will face last season’s beaten finalists for the fourth time in the knock-out stages in five seasons. The duo have also previously met in the group stages of the competition.

Barcelona will meet Bayern Munich is the last quarter final clash that will see two of the most scoring records meet in this mouth watering battle.

Here is how the QF draw turned out.

The Quarter Final draw

Villarreal v Arsenal
Manchester United v FC Porto
Liverpool v Chelsea
Barcelona v Bayern Munich

The Semi Final draw

Manchester United or FC Porto v Villarreal or Arsenal
Barcelona or Bayern Munich v Liverpool or Chelsea

The winner of Barcelona/Bayern Munich v Liverpool/Chelsea will be classed as the home team in the final in Rome.

Bruno Conti is certainly doing United a big favour.

Reservice calls

Most NSmen (if not all), have to go back for reservice. Some see it as a chore, dragging them from peaceful school holidays, or from their normal jobs. Others see it as a vacation away from normal life, and the chance to meet up with old friends. The rest of the population, I think, see it somewhere in the middle of these two spectrums.

The first callback for the 7th mono intake of 42 SAR beckons, and as I have been disrupted for I’m studying overseas, I do not have to participate in it. It falls on the date just after my exams, and sometimes, I think about just calling my S1 to ask if I can join, although it will probably be futile. 

After all, one can join societies like Paintball, Airsoc (playing Airsoft), and even go for tankballing in the UK, but what about the real thing? Best is to get my reservice over and done with, instead of not being able to join my unit, and then join some other unit when I’m old and aging, and the friends I made in my NSF life aren’t there anymore.

Of course, I could also be one of the lucky few who won’t be called back at all, though I doubt it.

I suppose, I may just fly back to Singapore after my exams end, and then see all the people I met in 42 SAR go back for reservice, and then wonder why I can’t join them. Possibly because other reservice periods may be held when I’m not free, but at this point, I can’t help but wish (strangely), that I could go back as well.

Is Slumdog Millionaire an inspiring story?

“You can’t sleep in the cinema,” I told my sister yesterday, “it’s (the movie) too loud.” Few seconds later, I added: “And noisy.”

And that’s how I feel about Slumdog Millionaire. It’s really loud and noisy. The only time when there’re some nuggets of silence is on the set of the TV game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, when Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) pauses and decides if the answer he has chosen is going to be his final one.

I believe most people would have seen this movie, or if not, would have read about it and know the synopsis of the story. So, I’ll talk about other things instead.

In my opinion, Slumdog Millionaire is, besides being a “noisy” film, a colourful show. Colours of India’s culture, the faith of the people and their lifestyle are displayed prominently in the movie. One has to give credit to the use of such loud graphics and music to bring us the intensity of the poverty and the kind of lives those people lead in the slums.

While there are things I understand right away, there are some that escaped my comprehension.

For example, I don’t understand why there is a need for the adult characters to suddenly switch to conversing in English when they were chatting wildly and animatedly in their mother tongue, Hindi, when they were children. Yes, English is one of the two official languages in India (according to Wikipedia), no doubt. But, is their usage a “common thing” or is it more for the non-Hindi speaking international audience? If it is due to the latter, I feel the movie loses that bit of realism; which is a pity, because this movie thrives on being a film that shows us the facets of life in the slums based on reality.

Before watching this, I’ve heard of how inspiring this movie is for the man on the street. It represents hope; if a man who grew up in the slums can become a millionaire overnight, then, probably, so can they.

However, after I stepped out of the cinema, my mind began to question the authenticity of this claim. Is Jamal’s character truly inspiring? Maybe it would be if he had worked or studied very hard in order to get that insane amount of money, when many more highly-educated people before him had failed.

Yet, it turns out that he has the answers because of one thing that probably all the educated people lack—a life experience wrought with twists and turns, drama and betrayal and a tale about friendships, relationships and kinship.

So, is this purely a work of luck plus unlucky life events combined with tragic life experiences? Or is this a brilliant example of one young man’s perseverance to hold on to his values and beliefs in the midst of surviving in the harsh realism of the world, and his fight for the love of his life?

As I seek the answer to this dilemma, I have to ask yet another question: What is an inspiring movie?

Does it have to portray a journey of overcoming difficult challenges and difficulties before achieving the goal? Can it be simply a narrative of hope and triumph, plus some luck?

Until now, I still don’t have the answer, because I feel that both can be the answer. If the movie can arouse a feeling or thought in others which in turn moves them to do certain things to achieve their dream or goal, then I think Slumdog Millionaire is an inspiring story.

Lastly, I ask myself this question too: Why am I dwelling on all these issues, when I’m only watching a movie?

Then it hit me. I had somehow forgotten that this is, after all, still a movie. It is not based on a real-life story, and even if it is, it would have been tweaked a bit to add the effect of drama for commercial sake. As much as it aims to show reality, as the film has so successfully achieved, it is eventually fiction.

All these thoughts are based on what I still remember after watching this show more than a week ago. This points to one fact – that these are the elements that have left a deep impression in my mind and my heart. That’s why I’m writing this review only now, 10 days after seeing it. Though this comes relatively late, I hope it still serves as some food for thought for you.

What are your comments on this movie? 

Lack of sleep - disaster!

Sleep seems to be anaemic in IT professionals. Crawling out of the bed even before the first hint of the reddish morning tint hits the earth, and hitting the sack deep into the night has become a routine process for many. It gets worse if you are a developer in an IT firm. The hell hole is even deeper than Alice’s wonderland if you’re a freelancer.

For me, sleep has become a luxury that I’m shedding, just right when experts are pointing out the negative impacts of working with insufficient sleep. It makes one quite easily irritable, especially when coupled with the caffeinated coffee to keep awake. I’ve already lost my temper on occasions where my usual self would never have, and it grates on me terribly at the end of the day.

Sleep is an important part of our life: it allows our bodies to repair the wear and tear of daily rigours, and also for our brain to consolidate all the things we’ve learnt during the day. And by going on less than 5 hours of sleep, I believe that I’m missing quite a bit of this! I don’t know how so many famous people got by doing their great things on so little sleep, but what I know is that if I don’t get 8 hours each night, my eyes would cringe badly in the morning.

And it is a horrible feeling to wake up with your eyes trying to winch shut right when school is starting in an hour’s time. I grope groggily for my mobile phone to shut off the annoying alarm (because I can’t wake up if the soundtrack is too soothing), and set off a mini-avalanche of my notes and keys. My brother wakes up at the fanfare I’m creating, and flops back onto his bed. As I pick up my notes, cursing my aching back and sleepy legs, I nearly knock over my laptop on my desk.

Giving up temporarily on packing for school, I go to the shower head and run my face under the morning shower-head. I stumble like a drunkard into the kitchen, and make myself some coffee. My butterfingers create an array of powder mixed with sweetener and Milo on the counter-top. It is only when I manage to get the coffee in my system that the cloud starts to lift, and I groan at the mess.

Augh! The coffee helps keep my body awake for the rest of the morning, but it is a case of the lights being kept on while there’s nobody at home. I’ve learnt to keep a piece of paper and pencil in front of me during lectures. I write stuff about the interesting things the lecturer shares with the class, and sometimes draw stuff on my notes – although the latter doesn’t always seem to make sense in hindsight.

Unfortunately, I’m not new to being deprived of sleep. During my active NS days, my platoon had the least sleep in the entire battalion during an overseas exercise. We were involved in the majority of the mini-exercises, and so had to stay up till 2-3am preparing our equipment for the next day. And then we would wake up at 4 or 5am for an early breakfast. At that time, I was still able to wake up with quite a bit of difficulty. Most of my platoon mates and commanders had trouble waking up, and it was interesting to see my platoon commander and platoon sergeant brushing their teeth with blank stares in the mirror. Trust me, it is funny when I think about it now, and I would have laughed on the spot if I did not look like a zombie myself back then!

Eventually, we managed to pull through the exercises without an incident. I guess being young and all does mitigate the side effects of abusing the body, but it isn’t an excuse to party till 3am in the morning! I believe that we would eventually repay all the sleep debt that we are incurring in our youth; doing that when we’re in our 30s and 40s, and deep in our careers is surely not a great way to impress the boss!

So follow my lead now: shut down your computer right now, and go right to bed. As you can see from the time this post goes live, it’s 1am on Monday morning. Stumbling into the office bleary-eyed at 10am on the start of the work week is the absolute best way to poke the proverbial bear, if the bad economy isn’t already pushing your boss’ buttons!

(Flickr Photo by TangoPango)

Shillawon restaurant

While I might have expoused at length about my love of Japanese cuisine and Japanese buffets recently (most notably in the post just before this), I have to confess that I’ve never tried Korean food, which is fast becoming a staple of local fare. In fact, up till a few days ago, I thought Korean food was all just about kim-chee (preserved vegetables).

So, being a creature of habit and not a least bit adventurous, I was a bit hesitant when my friends and I were at Suntec City and they wanted to try this Korean BBQ + steamboat restaurant. Still, we ended up going thanks to its promise of a buffet at low prices and an ample amount of seats (which by right should have been a negative factor but in IT-show flooded Suntec, we took all we could).

Imagine my surprise when the food turned out delicious and, despite its small crowd, the restaurant served up more bang for the buck than Kuishinbo, which I had just the night before.

Offering up both a barbeque and steamboat experience (although due to space limitations, only one can be in use at one time and the service personnel who attended to us advised us to try the BBQ first because steamboats are usually more filling), my friends and I got so satisfactorily stuffed on the BBQ segment alone we didn’t even have space in our stomachs to move onto the steamboat.

Still, despite the fact that we only tried half of what the restaurant had to offer, it already was tremendous value for the S$23 or so we each paid, which isn’t too expensive a price for a city buffet on a Saturday evening.

The a la carte menu has a pretty long list, including marinated beef, pork, chicken, chicken wings and such, all in spicy and non-spicy parts. All the ingredients we had were terrific and of high quality. The beef was very tender and I had never tasted such succulent (I mean, it was literally juicy!) and soft chicken meat before. Plus, the chicken wings were terrific, with chewy meat that were just rightly marinated.

Other than the raw ingredients for the steamboat/BBQ, the restaurant also served up delicious soups (my oxtail noodle soup came with a spare dish of salt and pepper in case it was too bland, which I thought a nice touch since it allowed us to add as much as we wanted) and Korean-styled pancakes which, while on the oily side and filling, tasted great.

The service, too, was great. The service staff were all attentive and informative, often giving us tips on how best to cook our food and also cleared our plates with alarming vigilance. The only gaffe, though, was that some of the food we inititally never did arrive and we had to reorder them.

Still, the restaurant is a value-for-money buffet that even non Korean-food-lovers like me would enjoy.

Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Kuishinbo Jurong Point

It’s no secret that I am (together with more than 70% of my fellow countrymen) a fan of Japanese cuisine and that I also am (together with absolutely 100% of my countrymen) a fan of buffets and, as my review of Suki Sushi a few weeks back would have shown, I think Japanese buffets are just about the best thing since the remote control.

So, when I got the chance to go down to the newly opened (and by newly opened I mean for about half a year or so) Kuishinbo outlet at the newly revamped Jurong Point’s Japanese food street, I was ecstatic. After all, Kuishinbo, being way pricier than the conveyor belt chains but more affordable than the “true” Japanese restaurants, has always been a guilty pleasure of mine, despite reports of faltering and inconsistent quality at the Suntec branch.

Alas, while nothing about the outlet screamed bad per se, it wasn’t as great a trip as I’d thought it would be.

First off, the queue was terrible. True, it was a Friday night when I decided to go there without any reservation but even then, we had to wait almost an hour to get a seat and I soon found out the reason why. While the outlet is of a decent size, there was a distinct lack of seats and tables, thanks to the restaurant’s efforts to make their outlet look as aesthetically pleasing as possible (which, admittedly, it is).

Kudos, though, to the service lady manning the front of the stores, for being accomodating and friendly and pretty calm in the face of a lot of chaos happening around her.

Of course, the main thing about a Japanese buffet (or any buffet, actually) would be the food, which should not only be huge in quantity but, for a whopping S$140++ for three, should be of a substantial quality too. And, while the food wasn’t terrible, it definitely lacked a distinct punch and wasn’t worth the premium.

While the small selection of sashimi and most of the sushi dishes were fresh and delicious (the crayfish with vermicelli, an admittedly non-Japanese feeling dish, was surprisingly good), the tempura dishes were soggy and cold (and that’s despite a high turnover rate) and the dessert selection, which at first glance seemed a huge treat, was lacking in taste or packing any sort of taste bud punch and tasted cheap.

The food might not be bad but, for the price, isn’t worth the money at all. Only visit when there are promotions or those mid day specials.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

The UEFA Champions League last 16 knockout rounds second leg

The UEFA Champions League knock out stage is finally back, and its the second leg of the last 16. Here is what I think of the out come after tomorrow.

Liverpool vs Real Madrid
With a slender one goal advantage at the Bernabeu a fortnight ago, Liverpool must work on that and use it to their advantage. Yossi Benayoun’s goal in the first leg might prove decisive after all. Real Madrid HAVE TO score, while Liverpool can go for a draw! That’s how I see it. And with the likes of European record breaker Raul on form at the Spanish capital, I believe this will go into extra time, with Madrid winning by a goal to nil, and Liverpool losing out eventually to Madrid at extra time or penalties. (think about it, if it comes to penalties, do you really think Casillas is going to lose to Reina?)

Prediction: Liverpool 0 Real Madrid 1 (Madrid to progress on penalties)

Juventus vs Chelsea

Juventus coach Claudio Ranieri called on fans to create an intimidating atmosphere against Chelsea on Tuesday to help his side overhaul a 1-0 deficit in their Champions League last-16 clash. The advantage goal, scored by Chelsea’s revived striker Didier Drogba, will be heading into the clash with a positive mind, after scoring 3 goals so far under new part time manager Guus Hiddick. But the way I look at this game, I believe Chelsea is on their way out, simply because they have won their last five games under their new manager! Many have talked about the weird things that happen in football, especially in the Champions League. And with home support, the Italians might just overcome the small advantage that Chelsea has.

Prediction: Juventus 2 Chelsea 0 (Juventus to progress with a agg of 2-1)

Panathinaikos v Villarreal

Same thing as the Liverpool against Real Madrid… Villarreal need to score, and Panathinaikos need to hold them. The Spanish did extremely well in the first leg, only to be denied victory with a slack in defense. Now with Panathinaikos playing at their own turf, the fans will be behind all the way!

Prediction: Panathinaikos 0 Villarreal 0 (Panathinaikos to progress on away goal rule)

Bayern Munich v Sporting Lisbon

Bayern beat the Portuguese side 5-0 away from home and should complete the job at the Allianz Arena, although Bayern manager Jurgen Klinsmann expects the opposition to be in better shape than a fortnight ago.

“They are a really good team,’’ he said. “The will want to show that what happened in Lisbon was just a one-off. They will give it all they have got.’’

No matter the outcome, the Germans are almost certain to proceed, as I don’t see Lisbon scoring five goals in Bayern’s home ground.

Prediction: Bayern Munich 1 Sporting Lisbon 0 (Bayern to progress comfortably)

Cowboys, Meadows and Those Bells and Whistles Part 2

Where have all the cowboys gone?

That was the last statement in Part 1 of this post.

Why did I ask this question? Because, instead of those macho cowboys and their whips, I saw the green meadows, blue skies with fluffy white clouds floating in it.

I turned around to face a bundle of sunflowers brimming with joy!

I must be in a fairy land… because even the elves were here to help the cobbler with his clogs.

You know, to have spent 5 minutes of my time in such a wonderland was some form of relaxation for me. I’m not kidding.

Guys may not find all these extras a big deal. After all, a toilet is merely a place for people to offload unwanted “materials” from their bodies. They minimise their time inside and they just couldn’t wait to finish their own business (without minding others’) and leave.

But to the girls (of course I wouldn’t want to generalise the entire female population), going to the washroom is an event itself. We go together in groups, we treat it as the next better place to have good quality “water cooler chats” and I even saw some girls taking photos together, almost always in front of the full-length mirror. 

So, to those great minds behind the concepts of these water closets, I thank you for the wonderful relief (pun intended) you have given me! 

Btw, in case you were wondering where I had been to, I was at Great World City. 

Why one should know Mandarin

When people around me say that it is very important to know Mandarin, I now agree with them. For after all, learning Mandarin can save you from a lot of unnecessary stress.

This happened to me the other day.

It was late at night, and I was walking back to my accommodation with my course mate. The road was deserted and lonely, with wind whistling through the leaves on the trees. The moon wasn’t out, and there weren’t any street lamps on the road. Looking straight ahead, we saw that we were the only ones walking down that stretch of road.

Being students, we didn’t care about the surroundings, and we were chatting merrily on various topics, until my course mate suddenly switched to Mandarin.

“继续走, 但不转头向后看 ” (Continue on walking, but don’t turn head around to look behind.)

At this point of time, I get a bit unnerved, considering that we were walking down a lonely road. I switched to Mandarin at this point as well.

“为什么啊?” (Why?)

“

因为后面是我们的经济博士” (Because behind is our Economics Professor)

However, because I didn’t catch what was said (经济博士), I asked again, and I heard.

“经济博士在背后, 走快一点” (Economics Professor is behind us, walk faster)

I also didn’t catch what he said, but I noticed the “Walk faster a bit”, and at that moment, I saw a shadow on the road, of someone behind us.

At that moment, I was thinking of words that ended in 士, and I was thinking of 僵尸 (vampire), and while I suppose I should have been more rational and thought “Eh, why UK got such things one?”, I didn’t. 

I just “ 走快一点”, and literally walked all the way forward.

Only at the end, I clarified again, and finally got the reply in English. 

“Our Economics professor was behind us, so don’t turn around else he will see our faces.”

At that moment, I felt like strangling my course mate.

Now if only I knew a bit more Mandarin, I wouldn’t have made this mistaken, and given myself a scare.

Mobile Broadband in Singapore

Mobile broadband seemed to be a distant feature barely 3 years ago. Sure, there was the beginning of Wireless@SG, which was spear-headed by the Infocomm Development Authority to bring Internet access to high traffic areas.

While Wireless@SG worked fine for the most part (if you ignore the intermittent connection problems and slow data transfer), but back in 2006, nobody had an inkling that within a few years, the Internet would be so ubiquitous that you could be inside an army camp in Tanjong Gul, and still be able to check your email from your bunk bed.

To complete the picture, imagine how personal laptops are generally banned from camps, and that authorised ones are only allowed to access the restricted network. Now imagine using your non-camera mobile phone, and checking your university email during your in-camp training. Right in the bunk. There’s absolutely no interaction with sensitive networks at all, so MINDEF is happy, and I’m happy because I can catch up on my news items on mobile Google Reader.

But with all that hype on fast mobile Internet access, are we really getting the full value for what we’re paying? For one, I’m always getting the “buffering” throbber while streaming YouTube videos over my mobile broadband device. Sure, normal pages load decently fast enough, but that’s a given for the inherently smaller files sizes (I cannot even begin to imagine even normal web pages loading at a crawl!)

I could have compared it to my very first broadband connection in 2004. Cable 1.5mbps seemed quite a lot back then, and could decently handle most video streaming. Fast-forward to 2009, and a 2mbps mobile broadband data plan cannot even competently handle YouTube.

Naturally, I’m fuming. I called my ISP on so many occasions that I’ve personally lost count of the frustration. When I’m on the road, and need to download project files or in school trying to access the administrative console on my web server, the nail-biting wait is almost physically painful.

On each of these calls, I hear the same refrain: “Sir, the mobile broadband is shared. There could be many users in your area, which is why your speed may be lower than the subscribed speed”.

That leaves me wondering: why is it still legal for ISPs to sell plans claiming ridiculous transfer rates (like 7.2mbps), yet be able to reach those rates only 0.01% of the entire subscription month? I’ve never managed to get more than 0.6mbps out of my overseas downloads, yet I’m still paying for 2mbps!

That’s like claiming to be able to pull up to 12 chin-ups (maybe only once, 7 years ago), and then pulling 3-4 most of the time, yet have MINDEF pay you your IPPT award based upon your claim instead of your actual performance. If we don’t do this for physical fitness tests, then why are we doing this for our Internet connection in Singapore?

Atletico Madrid 4 - 3 Barcelona

Looks like the Spanish La Liga is going to be a tight and exciting finish afterall…

“Sergio Aguero scored a dramatic late winner as Atletico Madrid twice came from behind to stun visiting Barcelona 4-3 on Sunday and extend the Primera Liga leaders’ miserable run of form. Barca have now taken only one point from their last three matches and had their lead whittled down to four points.”

Only 2 months ago, Spanish La Liga leaders Barcelona heads into the new year of 2009 with a staggering ELEVEN points above their nearest rivals. Now in Febuary, they are only four points clear.... who would have thought that Messi, Henry, Puyol, Xavi and Eto’o would lose so many points in the new year. Now the league is wide open.

Atletico Madrid was the last opponent Barcelona lost points to. After going 2-0 down, courtesy of Lionel Messi and Henry‘s opener, Atletico Madrid did the almost impossible task to bring their team back into the game to 2-2, with goals from Uruguayan Diego Forlan (a magnificant long range effort) and Argentine Sergio Aguero (a precise side foot that fooled Barcelona goalkeeper Valdes).

Barcelona took the lead once again with French wizard Henry, but the home team fought hard to win the game 4-3, equalising through a penalty and scoring the winner through Aguero again.

If Barcelona’s form remain as it is, I think Real Madrid will win the title… like they always do when Manchester United wins the EPL. And Juande Ramos will definitely prove a point won’t he…

Cut every expense that is not a necessity

If you are facing a possible job layoff or you have already lost your job, you need an immediate strategy to have enough money to pay the bills and feed yourself and your kids:

Review your budget and cut every expense that is not a necessity. You can waste money eating out, using the mobile phone for all kinds of expensive messaging, and taking cabs.

For a start, cancel all your children’s cell phone subscriptions. Use your cell phone only for emergencies or as a contact during job hunting.

Cut back on latte and other expensive beverages (including beer), and eat out less. You could easily save $200 to $300.

For those who are in the habit of throwing $50-$100 a month on the lottery, stop it. A former colleague once justified why he spent a fair amount on Toto and 4D: “It’s the poor man’s dream,” he says. He has never won anything and if he had put the spending in the bank, the amount would be a small fortune today!

If you’re looking for work, don’t let your pride get in the way of accepting a job that earns something—anything—to help with the bills.

One final warning: As the economy gets worse, there will be many get-rich-quick business schemes popping up. They will just leave you broke fast. These schemes include buying and then trying to sell to friends very expensive skincare products, air fresheners and other products of little value.

Do not participate in any business “opportunity” where you have to put cash upfront. If someone would like you to sell skin cream, tell them they can pass the stuff to you, and you will only pay when you have sold and collected. And if the goods can’t be sold, the supplier must take them back, no question asked.

How Max raises money

In case you have missed this, here’s a story of a young man and his creative way to raise funds:

American teenager Max Stephenson is the son of a disabled mother, and a father who works three jobs. Last August, when he needed to raise cash to attend New York University. Even with all his grants and loans, he still needed half of the $50,000 in annual tuition and fees.

He decided it was time to get creative to raise money. He sent out an e-mail to his entire contact list, asking for help. He wanted to go to college, and if you made a donation, he would give you a souvenir in four years. For $2.50, you get a piece of his graduation gown, and for $3.50 a piece of his cap.

According to Time magazine’s report on September 4 2008, within two weeks 2,000 people have responded to his e-mail and he received over $5,000. “Most of the money is from anonymous people, sent by mail. It could be a dollar or two or as much as a $10 bill. I also received some payments through PayPal,” Max says.

To help keep his end of the bargain in four years, he is keeping a spreadsheet with contact information for all of the donors who did not send money anonymously. One donor is Chris Sperry, a sponsorship manager in Atlanta who put $5 in the mail. Sperry says he wants Stephenson to have an easier time paying for school than he did. Sperry recalls that when he was an undergraduate, he worked three jobs to offset tuition costs.

Moral of story: No matter how difficult the situation and how challenging your needs are, there are bound to be some creative solutions, if only you will take the time and effort to work them out.

Manchester United - Two Down, Three more to Go!

Another penalty shoot out, another victory…

It seems like a regular outcome for Manchester United’s cup finals… be it the “useless” Charity Shield (against Portsmouth), or the ultimate prize in the UEFA Champions League (against Chelsea), Manchester United Football Club has done is once again… this time in the Carling Cup (or League Cup, or Worthington Cup, or whatever… its not THAT important). This competition, to United, is one for the youngsters at the club to prove that they deserve to be in the senior squad soon.

One youngster (or rather not that young anymore), is goalkeeper Ben Foster. Coming from the youth ranks of Stoke City, Foster was snatched by United at a bargain of one million pounds after United manager Sir Alex Ferguson saw his son’s match. In his early days of playing, he was loaned to several clubs, and most notably is Watford last season, where he did an amazing job between the post, only to be foiled by the lack of quality of his defenders. Now he is back in United to prove a point, a prove he did, by being the man of the match last night in the Carling Cup final, saving Jamie O Hara’s first penalty. United’s future is in safe hands.

Ben Foster

Darren Gibson had an outstanding first half. He had several passes forward to strikers Carlos Tevez and Danny Welback that was simply divine, making everyone think that Roy Keane is reborn. Northern Ireland defender Johnny Evans did a fantastic job as well, sliding in to prevent Aaron Lennon and Darren Bent on a few occasions to score.

Well not everyone had a great game. Danny Welback did an awful job upfront, making zero effort and was easily dispossessed by the Tottenham defense. Vetern Paul Scholes delivered a beatiful long pass down at the centre, and he was slow and un confident to take the chance. It should have been a goal for United.

For all who stayed up late till almost 2am in the morning to watch the match, United are on a roll… two cups down, and three more to go.. this is Manchester United’s season once again.

Improvising

I find that in life, the best way to achieve an objective is not by doing what other people do, but by doing what you believe should be done.
Anon

I recall when I was first posted to 42 SAR unit as a Finance Clerk, I had no idea what was expected of me. My upperstudy was clearing off, and I was thrust into a role that I wasn’t trained for.
All I had were the previous year’s Finance templates, and access to the ePS system to work with.

It wasn’t easy, and I had to improvise in many areas when I had no idea what to do. My S4 was also new in his postn, and often he was unable to give advice. I had to follow my instinct, use a bit of common sense, and do what I felt was right.

It turned out surprisingly well, apart from minor hiccups at the start, and I soon got the hang of it.

As time passed, I was also asked to do some administrative work in the branch, and I was given a lot of templates to follow. I found some templates difficult to follow, and others outdated.

I still used them though, until one day, the CSM told me, “The templates are only a guide. Don’t need to follow exactly if you think you can do better.”

Oh.

So I did do better. I changed the templates to make my job easier, and simplified many of the processes.

Along the way, I started developing this mindset: I do things the way I perceive they should be done, instead of just blindly following others. I had a very unique chance, stepping into my vocation knowing very little of what was needed, and simply pulled everything off successfully, because I didn’t know what had to be done. If it wasn’t for that fact, I suspect I would still have continued following templates and what not, and possibly doing a poorer job, than if I improvised on my own.

Now in the University, I find I am in a similar situation where I have not many rules and would have to improvise.

In general, I find that you can’t stay in your comfort zone for long. Sooner or later, like the crab, you need to crawl out into the big ocean where the familiar rules no longer apply, and you can’t simply go by the book. Life will always be forcing you to find creative solutions and adapt to new situations.

Role Models

So, after reaching my award-winning/artsier film quota of the month by watching this year’s Oscar Best Picture Slumdog Millionaire (the review of which you can read in my earlier post), I decided to let my brain take a little vacation (although as far as Best Pictures go, SM wasn’t necessarily the most mentally-stimulating one) and watch Role Models instead.

Starring Seann William Scott (most famous for his role in frat flick Dude, Where’s My Car?) and Paul Rudd (a comedian who’s been in just about any major comedy of this decade and whom I love), Role Models tells the story of Danny (played by Rudd), a cynical know-it-all energy drink salesman who’s been living in a rut, depressing the heck out of everyone around him and being a lousy boyfriend to Beth, played by the delectable Elizabeth Banks.

When one day Danny decides to pick up his life by proposing to Beth only for her to propose a break-up, he loses it, fouls up his sales pitch at a high school and crashes his car up the fountain of said high school and gets sentenced to serve community service at Sturdy Wings, a help group for children, along with Wheeler, his frat-dude, energy-drink-mascot, douchey buddy played by Scott.

They meet up with Augie (played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who was the breakthrough star of Superbad), a geeky dork who takes part in live medieval roleplays and battles as well as Ronnie (played by Bobb’e J. Thompson), a tough-talking, rebellious punk with a bad attitude. Of course, while they initially start out rough, they soon learn bond with the kids.

The premise of the film is uninspired and terribly unoriginal and, while a riveting story has never been a strong selling point for comedies like this, the execution is done in an equally lacklustre way.

The script seems to lack any sort of true comedic effort from the writers and, while it does have its moments (cynical Danny gets the best put-downs and subtly witty lines), falls pretty flat most of the time. When the jokes aren’t trying too hard, they’re just downright gross and hardly amusing at all (there’s a scene right at the end involving a hotdog that is frankly just offputting).

The characters are one-dimensional, don’t show any sort of real emotional growth and the story is as predictable as you’d imagine. The pacing isn’t all that great neither, with several boring parts in the middle of the show and a show length that’s about 20 minutes too long for comfort.

While the actors in the show have all proved their worth before (after all, Rudd’s been a regular on comedy show SNL and Mintz-Plasse’s turn as Fogell “McLuvin’” in Superbad was what made him so famous in the first place) and most of them are playing to type, the characters are so boringly written that it doesn’t allow them to show any sort of range or even any real moments of comedic brilliance.

Looking at the cast of Role Models, I had high hopes for at least a decent laugh but a mediocre script makes the movie a huge waste of its potential and a waste of its actors. Barely even worth a rent.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars